"He is such a handsome guy I have ever known! I think I already fell in love with him at
first sight! I wish he would someday reveal that there would be always a girl watching
him in every his motion, awaiting desperately a signal of love in return from him even
though he has not yet known who I am and what my name is; but I am still fine with it as
long as he spares me a look..." - I burst out laughing when reading what I had written in
diary during the high school years about a guy that had stirred my heart; the innocence
and the simplistic perception of love of an adolescent girl made me laugh. Now, over ten
years away from the high school, I can still call back the upset feeling that skipped my
heart beat for the very first time I met this "very cool" guy; it was also the very first time
I felt for a man! The wheels of life, however, has pretty much changed my points of
views as well as the way I look at men; and the diary, which I have accidentally found
from the stack of old books when cleaning up the house this morning, gives me a good
reason to look back at myself to see how different I am from the girl I used to be and
how men has changed in my eyes.
As a little girl at the age of six, I did not completely realize any difference between a boy
and a girl, the only thing in my mind was that boys could not wear girls' dresses because
they would be very ugly on them! As time went by, I grew up and finally reached the age
of puberty, during...