The Afterlife Adventures of Stuart Jones.

Essay by owneroftheuniverseHigh School, 10th gradeA+, August 2005

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Chapter 1

A New Life

"I didn't see it coming. Well. Okay. I did see it coming. I mean it's kind of hard not to see a twelve car subway train barrelling down at you with its high beams locked onto your forehead. Of course, I heard it coming first. Then I looked up and saw it. But it really wasn't enough time to register the fact that it coming at me. Two point five seconds is hardly a lifetime. Speaking of which, mine did not float past my eyes. What a sack of rubbish that concept is. Still, it was enough time for me to unload into my boxers before getting tapped on the nose by the caboose, giving the train station walls a fresh coat of paint. Chunky red... The new drab grey... And then poof, I'm here. Long white room. Lots of uncomfortable wooden chairs. Take a number please, and wait for eternity...

So how did you die?"

"Choked on a peanut."

"Well that sucks."

Seen from afar, these two men appear to be having a very normal conversation. As normal a conversation as can be had in an infinitely long, 5 foot wide, very white room. Or hallway rather. A hallway filled with lots of brown wooden folding chairs lining both walls that stretch toward the horizon only to be swallowed up by the brilliant shades of white in the distance. A hallway with no doors. Actually, to be quite honest, it wouldn't appear normal no matter how far away the conversation was!

"I'm #3. What number are you?"


"3.14159? That's interesting. Why would they use decimals? Wait a second... That guy down there is #3.14159 26535. And that woman there is #3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230...