I will always miss you.

Essay by yaelHigh School, 12th gradeA-, July 2003

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I will always miss you

Tuesday: 11:00am, blood test at Dr Fejnberg

Wednesday: 4:00am hair appointment, 13 Lyndhurst Road

What do I have to do on Tuesday again?

27 July I was born at the Parklane hospital, you were there! You held me in your arms and told me that I was beautiful and that I would always be loved. You couldn't have been more right, as you loved me, with all your heart, from that day on.

For as long as I can remember you have always been here. I remember you wishing me happy birthday on my 7th birthday party and giving me my first diary. I felt so lucky. I remember you comforting me after having a fight with Daniel. You told me I was the best girl in the boys' group. I felt so lucky. I remember you hugging me when Coco died. I felt so loved.

Quite often we would come to you for dinner, and you would ask me to set the table with the 'good china.' I did as you asked. One evening as you were preparing the delicious meal, a neighbour knocked on the door unexpectedly. Busy at the stove, you called to her to come into the kitchen. The neighbour walked in and looked at the beautifully set table and said ' I see you are expecting company. I'll come back another time. 'You explained that you were not expecting company and that she was most welcome. I remember the look of puzzlement on her face as she looked at the table again. You, seeing this look replied, ' You set the table only for special guests and outsiders when you prepare a meal, why not for your own family? They are as special as anyone I can think of.'

You taught me that the lessons of love are learnt at home. Love has to be lived here on earth. You knew that the secret of life is love, and you lived it every day. You became unconditional love in action.

But sadly happy memories are not the only memories I remember. There were times when we didn't get along so well. I was growing up and believed you were too old for me to relate to. I believed you wouldn't understand. Now I see how naïve I was: you understood perfectly. You knew that I needed space and time to find myself. You believed that like a caterpillar cocooned itself in its own space for a long time, in order to achieve true beauty; our relationship would become only beautiful, despite the times of aloneness.

But then you began to retreat from the world, entering into an extended period of forgetfulness and aloneness. Shrouded from reality you didn't see me standing before you. You didn't recognise my face. I felt hurt and abandoned. But realised it was my time to understand and be patient. Just before the life of the beautiful butterfly fades I realise that you will have left an unbroken chain of love and legacy.

And now, it is to late to tell you that you touched my soul with sculptor's hands and moulded me in to something

good,

kind,

honest.

I will always remember what you have taught me.

I will always remember the love that came from your heart.

Granny, I will always miss you