You are the inventor of the very first time machine. So, being the avid historian as well as scientist that you are (you must be a real hit with the opposite sex), you decide to set course for your first voyage to, without a doubt, one of the most interesting periods of history ? the settlement of the American Colonies. And so, you set the dial on that History Machine (not to be confused with the Mystery Machine; take that, Hanna-Barbera!) to 1607, hop in, and before you know it, you?re in 1607 ? unfortunately, you?ve landed in the ocean. You probably should have put a ?Location? dial on the machine, too. So, you try again ? where are you know, Constantinople or someplace? Well, you figure, third time?s the charm; you fire that machine up once more, and Eureka! You?ve landed aboard the soon-to-land second ship that had set sail from England for the vaguely defined land known as Virginia.
Cover of "The Generall Historie of Virginia, New=E...
English: "John Smith," line engraving from the 18t...
Titel page of A Description of New England of John...Immediately, though, you hear sounds of men; it sounds like they are fighting. You swear you hear things like ?Gimme my gold back!? and ?Mister Smith! That big palooka Mister Rolfe is picking on me!? called out before you hightail it back into that time machine, fearful for your life ? so fearful that you just set the date to anything, you just want to get out of there. Well, wouldn?t you know it, you?ve set it to 1620, and there you are on another ship (must?ve gotten lucky on the location part of the equation this time). Except this time, you hear no such sounds as you had on your previous trip ? in fact, you actually work up the courage to tour around the ship and talk to a few of its passengers. Despite the odd stares...