A apologetic essay about how being a bully is wrong and the consequences of my actions. I had to write it to my Probation Officer.

Essay by screaminfreemanHigh School, 11th gradeA, March 2003

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The consequences of my actions are numerous; like a wave in the ocean, rolling away out of sight unknown, yet nonetheless there. Although unintentional, my ignorance has caused emotional trauma.

I do not think of myself as a bad person or a bully. I try to be friendly to everyone I meet, do my best not to make pre-conceived notions about people. I thought I was just goofing around with Nema - this went way overboard and I am very sorry for that. Every time I said any of the stupid things I said, a little chip of him dissipates. I did not realize that this had been happening to Nema all of high-school; that in fact his experience at high school has been anything but fun. My actions only worsened this. A load is put on his back of everything people have said and done to him, and one day it might just give out.

I am the last one who wants to do this to a person.

Why did Columbine happen? Why are there teenage suicides? Is it because of me? No. Is it because of an accumulation of people acting like me, serious or not? Absolutely. A person can only be pushed so far before he breaks, acting against himself or toward others. The fact that Nema laughed at me when I made fun of him, that he never told me to stop, well, it astounded me. To be so accustomed to it that you just accept it, laugh at it because if you don't your afraid they might hurt you. I never intended to hurt him; however what I said was said.

This is not much of a physically tormenting issue, at least in my case. Flicking his ear doesn't have much of a physical consequence,