Backstage Barney

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Backstage Barney The Barney show ends with the all-famous "I Love You" song. The cameras stop rolling and everyone leaves the stage. As soon as that happens, Barney lights up a cigarette and says, "Another Freakin' day at work." "I have to agree with you on that one Barney," says one of the kids.

The kids go to barney's dressing room, the biggest one of them all, down the hall. Okay Kids, let's all get in a circle. I have something to show you." "Well Barney, what could that something be," say the kids.

"Okay kids, now that we have the supplies, let's make the blunts," says Barney. "you take a pinch of the green leaves and put them in the little rolling papers. Then roll the paper carefully no wasting anything. Lick the tip of the paper and twist the ends. Now, you have the perfect blunt." "Wow Barney, I actually learned something today.

I'm going to go home and teach my baby sister," says one of the kids.

Just before they were about to light the blunts, one of the crew members came in with a big bag of fan mail. "just set it over in the corner, Bob," says Barney.

"Okay, Barney. Are those blunts you have there Barney?" "They sure are Bob, do you want to join us?" "Sure, smoking is fun." Now Barney shows everyone how to light up the blunt. So they finally light up the blunts and Barney says, "Now exhale, then put the blunt in your mouth and take a big puff." After the first puff, Barney says, "Oh freakin' crap, that was good." They finally finish smoking the blunts and start to open the fan mail. The first letter is from Ivana Humpalot, from Dayton, Ohio. "Dear Barney, I think that you are very sexy, and you have the nicest booty. I want you so bad. If you are interested, call me at (937)354-6844." "Oh man, this women is a freakin' lunatic, she should know that I'm too good for her," says Barney.

The next letter is from Seamore Butts from Columbus, Ohio. "Dear Barney, I love all the little kids on your show. They have the cutest little butts I have ever seen." Barney stops reading the letter and says, "Oh my freakin' God. We have a Freakin' child molester." says barney. Grinning, Barney burns the rest of the letters and goes to the closet. He opens it and pulls out a fory-ounce beer bottle. He opens it and starts drinking it as the kids look on.

"Can we have some Barney?" say the kids.

"No, it's illegal." says Barney.

"But what ever happened to sharing?" "That's just crap we use on the show." "Oh, man." "Well, I guess it's never too early to get started." Barney gets out a box of twelve-ounce cans of beer and hands them out to the kids.

"Aren't they cute Bob? Little Kids opening a beer and drinking it." Says Barney.

"It sure is Barney. I wish I could have one, well, could I?" Says Bob.

"Bob, you know what happens when you drink late at night. You start having those accidents." "But I'm a year older, I'm 42, Barney. Please could you give me a chance?" "I guess, come on everyone, finish up those beers so we can start on a second one." The day ends when everyone is drunk and passed-out.