Bart's, The Prophecy
My gracious baseball gods, I come to thee at this here field to sprinkle the ashes of my first broken bat. I am going on a voyage. It will be long. It will be hard. I ask for your help and guidance in finding my curveball. I seem to have lost the ability to throw this pitch. Sandy Koufax, the blazing fastballer, Cy Young, Mr. Reliable, Chief Bender of the Dead ball era, and Nolan Ryan of 27 seasons, I, B-radyyeus the Cowboy, call on you today. From these ashes may your spirits guide me, and may you, Mr. Ryan, be my earthly guide.
" Today I embark on the most ambitious journey any man has set forth for himself. I have lost my curveball and the ability to pitch it. Therefore, I leave in search of it today"
" And find it you shall."
B-radyyeus was shocked like an electricity worker who was working on some power lines in the middle of a small suburban neighborhood when suddenly some idiot at the power station turned the power back on and BAM, he was in the ICU for 6 weeks afterwards.
Greg Maddux in 2006
Gregg Maddux in 2009
Greg MadduxThe god of innings pitched, Nolan Ryan, was appearing to him in human form.
"I see you have had a struggle of some sort. It seems to be of a pitch. And while I cannot help you exactly, I will be your guide in this here world, appearing to you when you are in most need of help. You must follow my every command. Do you understand?"
"Of course," B-radyyeus responded. "Anything you say, my lord. Continue."
"Today you shall leave everything behind, and take the ship Louisville Slugger to the island of Fenway, the oldest land mass of all. You will meet someone of...