Beautiful Dreams

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate January 2002

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Dreaming Beautiful Dreams I am asleep in my bed dreaming beautiful dreams. Screams and thuds against the walls awaken me. There is no doubt my parents are at each other's throats again. They always seem to fight while I am sleeping. Maybe they think I cannot hear them. I lay in my bed for about an hour and debate on what I should do. I cannot hear this every night for the rest of my teenage life. It is decided. I crawl out of my bed and creep to the kitchen. My face is burning with rage, my emotions are out of control.

Night after night, it is the same situation, my parents in their room fighting and me in my bed. Fighting with my inner thoughts I try to sleep every night, but now getting to a point where it is unbearable. For the last 18 years, same arguments same results, but this time I want to change the result"¦what should I do"¦? My parents' screams and curses flow through my ears and make me want to execute my plan that much more.

As I enter the kitchen, I see the silverware drawer slightly open. A silver sharp knife catches my eye. Perfect. I steel the knife and trot back to bed. "Should I do it, should I take one quick slash, that would end my misery?" I draw the cold metal to my chest and inhale. "Just do it"¦just do it, wait "˜till, they are asleep and do it." Perspiration trickles onto the blade and my body shutters of the horrible thoughts. I should be stabbed for thinking this way! I pray to God to forgive me of my thoughts and ask Him to make them stop fighting. If the fighting does not end, It might have bad consequences, which later my parents and I will regret.

The fighting has subsided; they must have fallen asleep. I throw the knife onto the floor in disgust of my selfishness. "God, I'm sorry"¦I'm sorry." My prayer seems so weak in concordance of my foul mind.

I get into bed and pull my covers up to my neck and listen for any more noises from their room. Everything is quiet. Out of my body, I exhale the whole night. I lay peacefully for a few minutes as my mind clears, sweat dries, and eyes close. This better not happen again tomorrow night; the outcome may not be the same. I rest completely and am again, asleep in my bed dreaming beautiful dreams.