Wanna talk? A psychologist is ready to listen. Now, stupid intro aside; I have decided that the career of my choice for this wonderful paper will be Psychology. Psychologists are seen as the kinder, gentler brand of "shrinks." They are distinct from psychiatrists in that they do not prescribe drugs and do not hold medical degrees. Psychologists are social scientists and behavioralists - they are students of human behavior. More specifically, they investigate the physical, cognitive, emotional, or social aspects of human behavior. They formulate hypotheses and collect data, and gather information through controlled laboratory experiments, as well as through personality, aptitude and intelligence tests. They do all this just to figure out what is wrong with you (which sounds like fun to me).
The Types of Psychologists
Clinical psychologists, who make up the largest specialty of psychology, generally work in independent or group practice, or in hospitals assisting mentally or emotionally disturbed individuals.
Clinical psychologists provide group therapy, such as abuse counseling, marriage and child counseling, and drug or alcohol counseling. They may talk it over with physicians and other specialists in developing and coming up with treatment and intervention programs. As part of their involvement, psychologists work to make these programs less alienating and complex to their patients, so in other words they dumb it down for retards like us.
Other specialties within the great field of psychology include cognitive psychology, health psychology and neuropsychology. Cognitive psychologists deal with memory, thinking and perception. Health psychologists promote wellness by providing health counseling programs that help people quit smoking, lose weight and battle chemical dependency (such as Heroin addicts and fat kids on twinkies). Neuropsychologists study the relationship between the brain and human behavior; they are particularly interested in head injuries and strokes (which I think is borderline disturbing).