Boys have it Tougher The relative difficulties of boyhood versus girlhood, the latest issue in the nation's ongoing gender wars, has raised a serious question of who has it harder the guys or the girls (according to the article "Who has it Tougher "ÃÂ Boys or Girls?"ÃÂ). I can understand the fact that it is hard on both sides, but after reading some of the articles in the books like " The Fragile American Girl Myth"ÃÂ and "Boys don't cry"ÃÂ and by comparing them, I came to realize that guys have a harder time than girls. Boys have it a little tougher than girls do because they always have to be strong both mentally and physically. Boys are never able to express their true feelings or emotions, which they fear might make them appear unmanly. Moreover, the media has a major influence on guy's personality.
The above reasons I picked for guys having it tougher is not just from reading the articles, is also from real life experiences.
As I was growing up I had friends and relatives complain about how hard it is for them to be a man in this generation. For example guys are responsible for too many things. Most of them are because they have no other option. Guys have set rules and a definition for being a man. They don't know how to cry, in the sense that they don't know how express their emotions nor could they. If we noticed men have very limited clothing options and last but not least, guys have higher competition rates in sports and schools due to the media.
Guys have a lot of responsibilities especially with relationships. Women generally compare the man she is with now, with their ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends. Every man has to live up to the women's expectations for the men. They have to be extra nice "to prove women that all guys aren't bastards"ÃÂ as Zamarzly said in Boys don't cry (pg, 67). There is also another case where man should be very careful with relationships. I met this woman. She got pregnant by the man she was dating, she wanted to have a baby, but he was not interested in that time because they hardly knew each other. He can't force her to have an abortion nor he could say it was not his fault and get away with it. Several months later she had a baby and now he is legally responsible for the child's support. It is very important for guys to be very careful not to fall in this sort of pit.
Guys have a set rule of what being a man is. Like Zmarzly says, "A male must be successful in work and family"ÃÂ(pg.66), which is true and this is what expected out of all guys. People can't accept it if there is even a little change. If a girl works or decided to stay home as a homemaker, she would not be questioned. Where-as a guy will be looked down if he stays home and lets his wife work. As an example, when I was in Los Angeles with my family during my high school years, we had a neighbor, a married couple, who just came from India. The wife was a software professional, she came through a working visa, and brought her husband along with her in a dependent visa, where he is not eligible to work. The husband was a lawyer back in India. Because the Indian laws are different form the laws here in united sates he neither find a new job, nor change his profession and start all over again which would take years to complete and he thought it was a total waste. They had 3-year-old son, who needed full attention, so he decided to stay home and take care of the child and help his wife in all the ways he could. But our society didn't accept what he was doing, everyone thought that he was not fit to serve his family. She would never bring her husband to any parties nor get-togethers because she didn't wanted him to be questioned by others and make him feel bad. It was a very degrading situation for him and his wife. Hence he decided to go to a community college and started a different career, instead of staying home and be ashamed off. Then left their child in a day care.
"Big boys don't cry"ÃÂ, this is also a one of those set rules which people assigned for guys. Boys don't know how to cry, because they are raised and taught that way. "Many boys grow up believing that emotional or sensitive behavior makes them look week or unmasculine"ÃÂ(pg. 65). One day when I was sitting in a park I saw two kids playing around, Amy and Mark. While playing and running around they both fell down, their dad came and he said "Oh only my little baby what happened? Is it hurting? Don't cry"ÃÂ, to Amy. On the other hand, to Mark he said, "Mark get up, it's just a little scratch, be a big boy and don't cry"ÃÂ. This is an example of how parents raise their boys. Since they've been raised that way, boys think it's shameful to cry, even when they are in pain. So they were never able to express their feelings.
Poor Men, they have very limited clothing options. I personally feel that this is one pitiful situation. When a girl can wear shirts, dresses, outfits, casuals, T-shirts, pants, shorts, even male styles of clothing and all of these are very acceptable. Where-as a guy has only pants and shirts in all different colors and designs that's all. I heard from one of my friends that there was a little boy, wore his cultural Scottish dress which is called a "ÃÂKilt' to school. He was ridiculed by his classmates, and he was sent to home because the principal said boys can't wear a skirts to school. This made him feel bad and lose his interest in wearing his native dress. But it's all right for a girl to wear pants as her native dress to school. Why is that??? That's my question all the time, "why can't a guy wear what ever he wants, why is it when a girl wear boys pants and shirts she is called a tom boy and not made fun off?"ÃÂ. At same time if a guy wears a dress, that's it, he will be mocked to the core. I sure wish this biased situation would soon be changed by the upcoming generations.
The Media is another great impact on guys. All the TV programs tells the kids to be strong and hefty. Wrestling and other sports can make them more aggressive, which might change their true nature. Some kids emulate the sport stars, which make them very competitive in the sports field. I heard a lady saying that her son was called names like "sissy"ÃÂ in school because he was not in any high school sports. Being in a sport is a "ÃÂmust' for guys to be respected, and if their interest or in other fields like a poetry or science, they could be called a geek and not appreciated.
Being responsible and careful all the time, being strong and masculine and never cry and being mocked by others if they are little different, is very pressurizing for guys and it is very hard for them to deal with at a time. Always being so pressurized, I don't think anyone can survive in today's world. Though now-a-days things are changing, we can never go back and change the past of the guys who were insulted in many ways for many reasons.