Bright And The Dark Side Of The Family

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate May 2001

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First, think about it Most couples do not have a good marriage and family life because of early decisions, inexperience or false thoughts. They go through those horrible experiences and they never really have to. I have seen many of these families and unfortunately, they are a big percentage of the population.

When two people start to like and love each other, they do not see anything else; they go into their own dream world. After a while, it ends with marriage because they feel like they have to marry early. Of course, early marriage brings out many problems that the couple never realizes before they get married. For example, Emre and Ozlem, my friends, were really in love with each other. They decided to get married while attending a university at the same time. Shortly after they were married the problems came on very quickly. Along with the stress of studying, the relationship was really affecting their success in school.

With the depression because of failure in school, they started to argue with each other. Eventually they were divorced. They are still in the university, trying to graduate after five years.

Sometimes marriage looks easy from the outside to new couples, but when they get into it, they see the dark side of it and start struggling. New couples do not see the reality of the marriage and being a family. They never think of getting some ideas and advice before they step into the business of making a family. Ihsan, my uncle, was married at a very young age because he always wanted to have a son. He was married and had a son two years later, just like in his dreams, but he never thought about the financial problems of having a baby. He found that he had to work harder than ever after the baby was born. Although his dream came true in a way, I did not see his face smiling in those days. Since he was stressed about working hard, he started to fight with his spouse too. He is still married, but he is definitely not happy. He looks very older than his age, which I think is the effect of those hard years First time lovers think that they find the love that they need for the rest of their lives, which is usually not true. Then they get married and they get disappointed. Most people search first for physical appearance in the person they want to be together with, but of course, that is not a reason to get married most of the time. Burak - my friend in college- fell in love with this beautiful model and surprisingly he got married 6 months later. They were having a great time in the first months; even I was jealous of their relationship. Soon, Burak started to realize his spouse' bad habits which included going out everyday and drinking. He finally woke up from his nice dream and found himself in a nightmare. He tried to handle it for a while, because he was really in love with her. Then one day she left him for no reason. It was sad but true. Burak did not recover for years; he even had to seek mental therapy.

As we see from all these sad stories getting married and starting a family is not an easy task. It needs time, thinking and experience. When it comes to marriage, it is not acceptable to rush into it all. Couples should think of every single detail before they step into it.