The Bully

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorHigh School, 12th grade December 2001

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The Bully I am better than you. Of course, if you really look at yourself closely, you'll completely agree. It's common knowledge everyone wants to look like me, talk like me; BE me. To be me, is to be the best. My power is beyond your limited capacities. I am able to incite fear from the depths of your soul. A mere glare can make you cower and squirm, I thrive on your intimidation and fear. And I am the root of your fear. I am the one-sided argument , that you cannot win and the creator of the utter helplessness that overwhelms you in my presence. So you can understand that my presence in this world is undisputably important.

I am better than you because I can do anything I please and get anything I want. That thought brings me back to my early childhood. It was a beautiful Spring day, not just any day, today was the day the swings were to be hung in the park after hibernating in the city shanty for the winter.

Finally I would get to soar as free as a bird! After school I ran and ran to get to the park, but when I arrived the swings were all occupied. I was so determined to swing, so I waited and waited, hours must have gone by, I kept asking "May I please have a swing?"All of the swingers pretended not to hear me. I suddenly grabbed one of the swinging kid's legs and pulled him right off. He fell to the ground howled in pain and ran home crying. I jumped on the swing and just laughed and swung contentedly. The other kids stared, I shouted "What are YOU looking at?" They all turned away or just stared stupidly at their shoes. As the wind whipped at my face, I came to a realisation: I can do anything I want, nobody can stop me, regardless of whom I hurt in the process. They are all weak, I need no one, only me, after all I'm the best. This philosophy has driven me day after day. It has driven me to do the things I've done and to say the things I've done. Without any regrets, ever.

I am better than you because you're afraid of me. It's amusing to see you when you pass me on the street like a weak, beaten animal, acting as invisible as humanly possible. You wouldn't dare stand up to me, it's not worth it. I'd squish you like a bug and you know it! I am my own authority, I don't take orders from anyone, I give them. You would love to be me, wouldn't you? To have the ability to hold people at your mercy, just for the fun of it and to have power over anyone. Power is such a complex, yet astounding feeling. It makes me feel as though the whole world would not exist, nor survive without me. The aspect of crushing and picking on the most unsubstantial entity is most gratifying, for I am doing my world a favour in ridding it of unnecessary disgrace. It's thrilling to know that I am responsible for the constant torment and embarrassment of my inferiors. Tears and wavering voices are the language of the latter, and I speak it not.

I am better than you because I need no one. No one needs me, they need to fear me. I am better than you because I do not need friends or a "˜group'. I do not need their acceptance, recognition or approval. I do not need to worry about failure, for I always succeed; everything I do always goes my way. The freedom and possibilities of being me are endless. This is why you admire me, aspire to be me, but you don't quite get it, do you? I don't need niceness or kindness, where did that ever get anyone? I do not need your sympathy or pity, save it for yourself. I do not need to worry about being helpless or alone, because I depend on myself. I do not need to be cautious about what I say or do, in the end it doesn't matter, it couldn't possibly change anything.

I am better than you because you perceive me this way. You think I am hostile and hollow, so I am. You think me cold- hearted and evil, so I become it. You think me a ruthless predator and you my prey. Hunting, searching for my next victim, but are you really the victim? You think I need no one, so you exclude me. But I do need someone. I need power to prove myself better than you, but am I really? You think I am strong, but I am weak. Maybe we have something in common. I am human after all, right?