Causes of the Great Depression
The main cause of the Great Depression was a lack of understanding of economic systems. The Great Depression began in 1929, during Republican President Hoover's watch. Many try to blame the worsening of the Depression on Hoover, for his deviation from Republican economic ideology. However, almost all of Hoover's government action occurred during his last year in office, long after the worst of the Depression had hit. In fact, he was voted out of office for doing not doing enough.
The economy was turning downward before Hoover took office in 1929. Entire portions of the economy were depressed throughout the 1920's, such as agriculture, energy and mining. Even industries with most growth (construction and automobile manufacturing) showing signs in the year before the stock market crash, about 600 banks a year were failing around the country, and half the American people were living at or below the minimum subsistence level.
By the time the stock market crashed, the ruin of the American economic system was revealed.
There were many things which contributed to the economic deterioration leading to the depression; lingering effects of WWI caused the government to cut back spending in order to balance the budget, resulting in a severe recession. The value of farmland falls 30-40 percent. Severe Declines in organized labor. Many workers lose their jobs as more advanced machinery makes them unnecessary.
The acute phase of the Great Depression began in October 1929, with the Wall Street Crash and continued through the early 1930s. After share prices plunged on Wall Street, US banks were forced to call in their foreign and domestic loans. However most people were already suffering from the various economic problems and few were able to pay the banks.
Meanwhile, those who had money saved in banks...
Causes of the Great Depression
This could have been worse. Certainly, it would be difficult to discuss the many and complex reasons for the Great Depression in only 397 words (I realize you got the word count to just over 400 by reiterating the title in the body of the essay). A listing of any sources consulted would have been helpful.
Your thesis statement is not supported very well. You claim that the "main cause of the Great Depression was a lack of understanding of economic systems." You need to discuss, not merely mention, the Great Depression's other causes and show why a lack of understanding of economic systems was the main cause. Instead, you have largely provided an extremely brief historical overview of the Great Depression.
There are errors in all six paragraphs, some of which I'll point out. Avoid redundancies, especially ungrammatical ones, such as in the first paragraph in which you state that Hoover was not reelected "for doing not doing enough." Avoid run-on sentences such as the second sentence of the second paragraph. Avoid shifting tenses between past and present, such as in the third paragraph. Avoid errors involving apposition such as "October 1929," in the fourth paragraph. Avoid wordiness such as in the fifth paragraph in which you refer to "money saved in banks" rather than simply money in banks. Avoid introducing into your essay new concepts, such as the circular flow of money (which you have oversimplified) in your concluding paragraph.
You obviously put at least some time and effort into this piece. More time and effort would have resulted in a much stronger essay regarding one of the more important economic events of the twentieth century. Because of the catastrophic nature of the Great Depression, you needed to do the subject justice.
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