Chastity

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorHigh School, 12th grade February 2002

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Chastity, as defined by Webster's Dictionary, is the state of being pure of sexual desire and activity. The state of being virginal; refraining from sexual intercourse. However, chastity can also be defined as living in right relationship with your sexuality. Therefore, we are all called to live a chaste lifestyle. Married, single, divorced, homosexual, all are called to live chastely.

I feel that the dignity of human sexuality of those who live in chastity is respected by my medium, music. Some of the examples from my medium are Monica's Not the First Night, Jessica Simpson's Heart of Innocence, Mandy Moore's 17, Janet Jackson's Wait a While, and K-Ci and JoJo's Don't Rush. Through these songs, I am going to prove that my medium respects chastity by discussing the forms of sexuality and their expressions, life relationships, and love language that my music selections present.

The forms of sexuality and their expressions are clearly depicted in my examples.

In all of these songs, the singer is assertive. Primary, genital and affective sexuality are all expressed assertively. The singer is accepting their sexuality, and enjoying their sexuality. The singers are not flaunting themselves, or exploiting others. Nor are they uncomfortable with themselves and afraid of their sexual urges. An example of this can be found in the lyrics to Janet Jackson's Let's Wait Awhile. Janet says "let's take it slow, when we get to know each other, let's wait, I didn't know how to let all my feelings show, let's wait awhile." Through these lyrics you can clearly see, that Janet is accepting how she feels, she is not insecure, and she is expressing her feelings appropriately. Another example is Monica's The First Night. Monica says "It stayed on my mind, at the end of the night, I had to decide"¦.not the first night." Again, Monica is accepting how she feels, she is showing that she is interdependent by expressing to her date how she feels. She understands boundaries and is being assertive about her own boundaries. In all forms of sexuality, chastity is expressed assertively, by being in control of your sexuality.

LIFE Relationships are illustrated through my medium throughout all of the songs I chose. In Mandy Moore's 17, there is a relationship of Infatuation that grows into friendship and love. At the beginning of the song, Mandy says "Some people tell me that you're not my kind, And I believe them, but I can't get you out of mind." This is an example of infatuation; she sings about daydreams and exclusiveness. These are two characteristics of an infatuation relationship. She is excited about this new guy and has total involvement. However, there is no intercourse. As the song goes on however, Mandy changes from the initial infatuation to being in a friendship relationship. She says, "'Cause I'm only 17, think I made my mind up, I got time to grow up, face responsibility, livin' in the moment while I'm only 17." She wants to live in the moment with this guy, she wants companionship, fun, laughter, and freedom. These are all characteristics of a friendship relationship. It is also an example of a love relationship when Mandy says, "hopin'"¦keepin' my heart open, only 17." She is trusting that he will unconditionally accept her. There is a deep mutual respect beyond anything sexual. They are committed to one another and understand the decision to wait to have sex. Another example of LIFE Relationships is in Monica's The First Night. Monica says, "While we were chillin', watching your tv,"¦you got to get to know me, down to be open." These are characteristics of a friendship relationship. She talks about openness to one another, accepting and getting to know one another. Monica also talks about being at ease, just hanging out and having fun together. There are no relationships of exploitation because living a life of chastity does not coincide with those characteristics. Living a life of chastity ultimately involves relationships of friendship and love.

When living in right relationship with our sexuality, we are called to fill our lives with loving communication. In living chastity we are called to use love language, never non-love language, which is used to hurt or manipulate others. I found an overwhelming use of love language in the songs I chose. One example is Jessica Simpson's Heart of Innocence. In the song she says, "I have a gift for you, this heart of innocence,"¦I will save the strength that is in my soul until you come to me." Jessica is saying she has something very special to share with her future husband. She is going to "keep" her soul's strength for him. She wants to have something that will bring life and joy to their relationship. Another example of true love language is in K-Ci and JoJo's Don't Rush. They sing, "We don't have to rush the night away, there's always going to be another day. A time to play, what I'm trying to say, take love slowly," and also, "all I wanna do is watch a little bit of TV." These are both sound examples of true love language. They are being respectful of the relationship and compassionate. They are singing about how they want an open, loving relationship. They do not want to rush into anything they are not ready for. They do not use the language to exploit or take advantage of their girlfriend. Another example can also be found in Janet Jackson's Let's Wait Awhile. Janet says, "I'll never give up on you, let's wait awhile." This is love language because she is saying she loves him so much she is wanting to wait until they are ready. She is being responsible and thoughtful. Janet is also being honest about her feeling of waiting too. Love language is used in all of my examples. The love language is used to show understanding and commitment.

Through love language, forms of sexuality and expression, and LIFE relationships, I have demonstrated how the my medium, music, respects the dignity of the human sexuality of chastity.