Essay by PallognElementary School, 1st gradeA+, September 2014

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Quotes from Series 3 Jay: Morning Benders, jump in the minge mobile. Will: Strange thing to call your mums car.

Simon: Hang on, have you had the left ear pierced? Jay: Yes Simon: Aint that the one you get pierced to show you're gay? Jay: FUCK OFF Neil: Oh yeah that is the gay one Jay: Well there's a quick way to tell Neil, which ear's your dad got pierced? Neil: Neither cos he's not bent! Simon: Course not

Jay: You? Who wants a model that looks like a spotty baby crossed with the Statue of Liberty? Jay: Oh, I'm gonna have to go, got a missed call from Ralph Lauren.

Jay: Alright Yves Saint Leponce what's going on here then? Simon: Neil's getting me in shit. Neil: They've put a curtain up so we can't see the clunge, it'stotally sexist Jay: Ahh the craft fuckers, they tried this when we did the school play, we just cut a hole in the curtain and stuck our knobs through it, it was well horny, we was getting noshed off in between scenes.

Jay: Oh well done you've mastered walking like a knob and looking like a dick at the same time. Simon: This is actually enjoyable, in a 'I'm shitting myself' kind of way Neil: If you've shit yourself in them trousers I aint touching them Simon: Of course I haven't Neil: You walk like you have

Will: Bit over dramatic, it's only a bollock

Jay: Alright gays? Neil: How's your ear Jay? Jay: Perfect, that's why I've got to wear this massive bandage. Neil: Oh, I suppose that's your modelling career fucked then. Will: He never had a modelling career! Jay: Yeah but I'm not bothered, cos I fucked the nurse that looked after me. Will: The St. Johns Ambulance...