O:Monogue Doll Kemper... Here he is... Monogue Doll Kemper S:Good Evening, My name is Monogue () and I'd like to thank you for coming tonight as you know, I am your candidate for governor under red, white, and blue ticket.
O:Anybody who votes for you is nuts.
S:Don't forget when you get to the polls that the name is monogue() O:They know you better by your nickname "Schlick" S:Friend, I fend for America.
O:Ah, who are you kiddin'? Your son's a draft-dodger in Vancouver.
S:I'll have you know that I'm a war veteran. I'm full of shrapnel.
O:You can talk cleaner than that.
S:I'm a red-blooded veteran. With a green beret, and a purple heart.
O:And a yellow streak down your back.
S:I contacted malaria in Burma, and typhoid fever in the Phillipines.
O:And God knows what in the hotel in the Moroco.
S:I was wounded 13 times in an aircraft carrier.
O:That's cuz he kept walking into the propellors.
S:I fought the battle of the bulge.
O:Hard to beat you in that one fatso.
S:I flew thirty seconds over Tokyo.
O:He got there from the opium den in Hong Kong.
S:When you elect me governor, I'll bring the prostitutes to their knees.
S:And I'll stop child-molesting.
O:Well, you had better because next time you'll be a three-time loser.
S:I'll close topless bars.
O:Yea, tell them about the one that you closed last night.
S:When I'm elected, I'll pass new tax bills and new wellfare bills.
O:The last new bills you passed got you 1 to 5 in San-Quinton.
S:I'll make it safe for women to walk the streets at night.
O:And if the price is right, you'll do business with them.
S:I'll provide better homes for illegitamet? children.
O:Big deal, most of them are yours.
S:I'll make improvements on...