Congruence is the "degree of accuracy between experience, communication, and awareness. If a person has a high level of congruence then they are nearly equal in all three areas; whereas, incongruence occurs when there are differences between the three areas.
In the past, I had a few experiences in which a teacher, girlfriend, or my mother would tell me to calm down because I was to upset. I would begin to argue that fact, and declare that it was not me who was upset, even though my body language, tone of voice, and language had shown others that indeed I was very angry. I look back on my earlier years and see that, as me having been incongruent. Denial and my lack of awareness during the experience of being angry, and what had caused the anger is an example for an individual's incongruence.
Initially, I felt this concept to be simple, but after working this theory with a few examples, I have come up with several questions, but only a few I will ask.
What would be some of the key reasons for lacking awareness, which is a key ingredient to ones level of congruence or incongruence? I have come up with denial of experiences, or repression of the emotions that have come from the experiences, and the painful experiences themselves. I think pain is a common reason for the use of denial and repression, fore who in their right mind wants a thing to do with it: So, why not do anything possible to avoid the pain. If the pain is unavoidable and no longer able to be denied or repressed, we may become aware of the experience and hopefully we are able to communicate all that's within to another or at least ourselves. Are we then congruent? Where...