My heart is a mixture of hope and hopelessness, all around me is despair and misery and yet if I give up I perish. Every where I go I have to hold on to my emotions. Wherever I walk I see mutilated bodies and to think, that person could have had a life, makes you brake inside. But you have to stay strong, I got used to them, it becomes just a part of my nature. I mean, I see a body and then I disassociate myself completely from it. It was complete genocide. We unwillingly got forced onto a train. There were more thane 30 of us all in one carriage it was dark and there was only one window on the train. There was constant voices yelling, crying, mourning and screaming. A long time had past and noise began to dimmer. I made my way to the little window on the other side of the carriage, I then saw Auschwitz.
It was surrounded by barbed wire fences and guard posts. I asked myself could the rumours be true, are there really death camps. I tried not to think about it, I tried to keep my sanity. I thought of when I was back at home during Hanukah with friends and family dancing with the music. I woke up with a fellow Jew tugging on my shirt saying, ÃÂQuick, quickÃÂ. The train had stopped. I got up and followed the line of people going out of the train. The SS soldiers lead us into a room where our hair was cut off by Capos, but this did not break my conscience. I knew I had to maintain my sanity. We then put into a room. It was hollow like the heart of the SS. They stripped us of our clothes, locked the doors and left. Everyone was just standing there, humiliated. It was like getting born again, we had nothing, no clothes, no possessions, and no choice but to stand ashamed and mortified. I thought what if this was the end what if all our lives end now, IÃÂve heard of the gas chambers but never assumed they were factual. They were stories from around the ghetto, I imagine the where to scare away the Jewish communities. No one would think that we the people could allow an Anti-Semitist country. As I was standing in that room exposed to this corrupt world of Nazis, I felt a drop on my shoulder, then the whole room was showered down upon with what just ended up being water. I began to cry, my tears joining with the trickles of the water running down my bare body. Just for a couple of seconds I was in paradise, thinking I wasnÃÂt going to die then and there. The showers stopped, bringing back thoughts and imagining what torment and agony will occur next. The doors of hell opened and the demons themselves ruthlessly shoved us out of the room. Outside was like an arctic hell, I was struggling to move on, and I couldnÃÂt keep up in the line. The soldier beside struck me with the rear of his gun. ThatÃÂs all I remember. I must of fell unconscious, but what seemed like a blink, I woke with the yelling of Jews saying ÃÂItÃÂs over, the war, itÃÂs overÃÂ. I hadnÃÂt fully recovered at the time and donÃÂt remember what happened after this but till this day I have kept sane and my emotions are not controlling my life.