Custom House

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorUniversity, Bachelor's November 2001

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One of the first things that occurred to me during this course is that there are reasons for misbehavior besides puberty and that, unlike these puberty, it does not end as one grows older. I have found that there are reasons for misbehaving, the first of which is the goal of attention. This is especially true for children, but many adults strive to bother or annoy people just to get noticed. Power is form of misbehavior that usually comes from those who can not get the attention they desire or have some inadequacies about themselves. Revenge is probably the most destructive of the forms of misbehavior, and can be seen as using power to atone for being hurt or ridiculed. The final goal of misbehavior is very similar to hopelessness, the last ditch effort that is used when the other forms have been tried to no avail and is seen by many as a desperate cry for help.

While studying my family constellation and looking back on it as I set up some future goal planning, it occurred to me how much influence the first has over the second. I became aware of how closely my parents, siblings and myself think, and how much they influence the way I feel about my educational, professional, financial and family goals. With this knowledge, I hope I can better myself and my future plans by looking at them for guidance and wisdom.

My career goals rest in becoming a visual basics application developer for a high-end company with a solid history and open future. Like my brother, Mahesh, I have become more serious about my studies and have found a new responsibility in learning more about my career choice so that I can have a better chance to serve my employer, securing a supervisory position as well as job security. After saving a good bit of capitol, I hope to follow in my father's footsteps and open my own business, either solely or with a partner. I feel that some sort of entertainment venture, such as a bowling alley, will give me more freedom and flexibility as a investment that I will be able to fall back on down the road.

For my long range plans, I hope to be financially secure enough to retire in my late sixties by working hard for my employer and in my own ventures and spending and investing wisely. With the proper retirement and pension funds, such as 401k programs and IRAs, I my long term goals are to be able to accumulate around $2.5 to $3 million. At this time, I should concentrating on collecting more assets that could possibly build in worth and equity as the years progress. I feel that personal status in life does and will relate heavily to my financial status; financial health is a major influence in my life as it is with my parents.

On a more personal note, I also hope to provide for my family the way they have provided for me in the past. This probably comes from my mother, who is known for being a caretaker and leader in the family. She was always the person to go to when times got hard and things were not looking up. When the right person comes along, I plan to marry and have children; a solid career will help to provide for my family and also allow me to take an active part in their lives. I hope to be able to nurture my children and make a large contribution to the day-to-day workings of the household, as well as being an understanding husband. Communication has always played a major part in my parent's relationship with each other, and I hope that this is an asset that will have the same positive effect on my home-life as well.

From my family constellation, I have found that to be a more responsible person, I will need to take after my parents and older siblings As a youngest child, I am hoping that this will help shed the my personal view of being a selfish dependent, and become a more independent adult, much like my father. These peers also tend to have organizational skills which would not only help my future in the long run, but also on a more daily basis, with my studies, at work, and at home. Communication is another tool that I have found to be important "“ the way different people tend to handle different interpersonal problems. A strong communication field will help me establish strength in the home and with my employers and employees.

One major asset I have found that I possess is the behavioral styles of the promoter and stabilizer. These behavioral patterns, as I have learned, have been established throughout my life and shape the way that I will be able to handle such things as stress, relationships and communication later in life. The style of the promoter is one of action and direct approach, a characteristic that I think will be helpful in dealing with those who work under my supervision. This should also be a key capability in the eyes of my employers. As a stabilizer, though, I should also have a more laid-back form of dealing with the problems that might arise, being able to control myself and the situation around me with little effort or stress.

I was quite surprised to find that on the subject of stress, I am a bit more high-strung than I expected. Based on a composite scale of 300 (200-299 being a high scores), the stress test that was introduced during the course could help determine whether one might be at risk of a stress-related illness in the near future. Out of this possible 300 points, I scored at 296, signifying that I might have a problem keeping a single activity on my mind. This could also cause me to use poor judgment or some difficulty in making decisions, which would ultimately not look good to my employers.

Sooner or later, though, I will have to face the four existential boundaries, or ultimate realities of life. One of these boundaries will be that of death. When your life is threatened, you learn that this is a major boundary, just as is the threat of being alone. Both of these realities make a large impact, especially when one considers that there is little to nothing that one can do about them. Freedom is also a boundary that must be faced. This boundary could be as simple as not having the freedom to wear jeans to work instead of a suit, but it could also come in the form of having to hide in the cellars of other believers to study your faith or religion.

The last of these boundaries falls in a reality that many people need to learn to understand: that life means only as much as you put into it. One has no purpose until a purpose can be found, and when it is found, boundaries seem to be less prevalent. I hope that this is one truth that I can learn from and grow on in my studies and throughout my future.