The Divorced and their Children

Essay by jimmy654High School, 10th grade October 2009

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What if the two you loved the most the most, the two that raised you, the two that fed you, the two who kept you going forward, the two who welcomed you to their home with warmth, love and laughter suddenly decided its time for them to separate? What would you do? Whose loving hands will you fall into; your mother’s soft and warm hands, or your fathers rough but caring hands? You have no knowledge of why they’re separated; you’re just scared and confused if you’re ever going to see your parents together again.

I believe people divorce because of irrational reasons such as; change of priorities in life such as having kids change of jobs or some big events. The two of them have poor communication which is the foundation of a relationship. Poor communication would also lead on to lack of commitment for each other. Some other reasons are instigators to the bond, In-laws.

They have no limit of talking behind your back their two-faced. They talk all casual and nice in front of you, but behind your back they talk how you’re just like a street rat, dirty and untrustworthy. Or other absurd reasons I believe that are hidden from others are sexual abuse in the relationship which could sometimes also cause physical or emotional abuse.

Statistics say that divorce percentage rate can be decrease by; thirty percent if their annual income is more than fifty grand, twenty-four percent if you have a baby that is more than seven months old after your marriage. Another twenty-four percent decrease if you are over twenty-five when you were married. Fourteen percent if your parents never divorce or your family goes to church together. Thirteen percent if you have attended college.

“Family is the basis of every society". Family is the way to serve God’s purpose, and it also provides protection and education for children. Children learn the first and most important ethics at home for an example, respect and values. Family gives them values and norms, it gives children the support that they need in their lives. Unfortunately, during the twentieth century family has suffered the most dramatic change, the increase of divorces. Fifty percent of all Americans marriages end in divorce. The children are the ones who suffer most of the consequences of this social disease.

Their child/ren is/are caught in the crossfire, so how are they affected and how do we help them? They become more vulnerable, they have no natural support system, their emotional growth and development is affected. They feel neglected, uncooperative, intense anger/grief and deny everything that has changed in their life. Children who are raised by one parent have a greater risk of poorly controlled diabetes or asthma. Children of fail marriages are also more likely to have fail marriages too.

To help your child/ren is the most basic thing; give them your time and attention, just have a good time playing checkers or draw together. Avoid trigger words like “you already have the kids…” or “my daughter…” when speaking of so, speak in terms of, “sharing our children”. Be on time for your kids….. don’t be a deadbeat dad/mom, being late can really hurt your child’s feelings. Avoid talking about the other parent in front of your child, when parents speak negatively about a parent to their child, the child will pick up the language and behavior. Give children the sense of protection, knowing that they’re secure in their parent’s hands.

Imagine you growing up to be more mature and reasonable, now think back… waking up every morning; you see your dad and mom up cooking you breakfast. Breakfast is ready, the clothes are ironed and the house is neat and tidy. Your dad runs in the room and says, “G mornin’ boy!” or vice versa. Wouldn’t you want to go back to those kind of times? Or do you still want to abandon your other parent and just go out clubbing and drinking all night as you grow up.

McCloud, Linda. "Top Reasons people Divorce" Associated Content. 1 June 2006 .

Leon, Frederick. "Divorce: Children Caught in the Crossfire" Associated Content. 17 May 2007 .