Helping your child through << HOME Helping your child through Getting further help Difficult words explained Children's site Young people's site This is a worrying time for you as well as for your children. Here are some guidelines to help you help your children.
FOUR GOLDEN RULES: 1.IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT Many children believe it is their fault you are splitting up. Tell them it is not, and then tell them again. This is particularly important with younger children who live in a world that is part reality and part fantasy. They can easily believe that something they have done may have caused one of their parents to leave or can make them come back.
2. TELL THEM WHAT IS HAPPENING Relationship breakdown is hard on everyone in the family. The difference with children is that they have no power over what is going on, especially if they are not sure what is going on.
You may feel you are protecting your child or children by keeping things from them. The opposite is true. Children are helped if you tell them what is happening. Tell them in a way they can easily understand, limiting the amount of detail you give them.
3.LISTEN TO THEM Research shows that one of the greatest problems for children during the splitting up is that they find themselves in a situation which they are forced to accept and feel they have no say in.
Children questioned say, again and again, that they want to be consulted in decisions that affect them, and that they want to be listened to. However, they do not want to have ultimate responsibility for decision-making.
You may feel by talking to your child or children about these things that you will give them too much...