( The door slams behind her leaving her in complete darkness)
This is not happening. Not to me. I can't believe this. Not even a tiny beam of light. Why there are no windows in this basement? Is it too hard to place one tiny little window in some basement, in case of these kinds of situations?
Situations like what? How on earth would anyone have thought that someone would try to go down here knowing the door is broken and the lights are out. Well, now they have an excellent example.
Oh my God, this is not happening! Not really! It just can't be happening!
All right , just calm down. Just don't look down there, because there is absolutely nothing to see. Oh my God, of course there isn't! Because you simply can't see! You wouldn't see anything, even if there was a whole camp of refugees living down there.
That's a nice thought. Well you have to agree it is much better than some Adams Family-creatures for adults. R-rated.
Good! Just keep on doing that to yourself, and it will help the situation. Stop whining and do something! It's not that hard. Just turn around. It's a simple motion. And the door is right there behind you. What if it opens? You'll never know if you won't try. Which would be really pathetic.
(She slowly streches out her hand in the back. Then turns half way and stops.)
It's right there, don't start to panic. Breathe! Just like they do in labor. Oh, how would you know.
( She streches her arm again now reaching for the door. Slowly fumbling she finally finds the door handle and turns it. It hadly turns and the door stays locked.)
Well, with what did you think it would open? With magic?
(She suddenly bursts into tears, slides down and sits on the hard floor. Her whole body shakes for a while, but then it stops and she leans on the wall.)
I never thought I would think of that, but now I really wish Tom would be here already. I just can imagine the door suddenly opening and the light shining through. Oh, that heavenly light. There is nothing more I want. Or need.
But then again, he will be home. And probably mad. He's always mad. I don't know exactly why is he, but I can't remember the last time he wasn't. It's like he's lost his mind or something.
It's probably his work. I mean it must be. He is too tired and stressed of all that working. All he needs is a vacation and he'll be fine again. Yes he'll be fine then. We both will be. Maybe then I'll stop checking into hospital with "fell down the stairs" written on my medical card.
What if he won't come? He always does, but what if?
I hate "what ifs". Its one of those universal perpetual questions. And I just hate those kind of questions.
Maybe Dina will show up. She's always checking up on me even when she knows how much Tom hates that. Why does she try to be so friendly when obviously it causes me even more problems? Can't she see I'm better without her continious visits? I quess she's just too simple-minded to understand. If she's having a perfect life and live in this perfect world of hers it doesn't mean she has to fix everyone else' lefe too. It's not like I need to be fixed. I'm just fine.
I hope that she's having one of those " let's make the world a better place" moments. Now would be a perfect moment for some fixing.
Where are you, Tom? What takes you so long?
(She take off her jacket, puts it on the floor and lies down on it. She puts her head comfortably on the soft surface of the fabric and put her hands under her cheekbones.)
God, it's still so dark here. Why does it have to be so dark? I know. It's some kind of punishment. I must have done something wrong. Maybe I've done something so bad, that I actually deserve this. Maybe Tom is right and I am selfish and dimply can't get along with people. And just too blind to see it.
I must be blind, since I really can't see anything. It's too dark for me to see.
( After a while her eyelids become heavier and heavier and they close slowly.
She falls asleep.)