Felicia and the Giant

As Felicia walked down the dimly lit street she tried to come up with a convincing argument to explain why she was coming home at eleven thirty seven and a half hours past her five o’clock curfew. She walked up to the massive wooden door took a deep breath opened the door and was immediately pulled into the tight embrace she knew was waiting just behind the door that led to her beautiful home. Then the embrace loosened and she slowly regained her breath and she was finally free from the choke hold altogether. “Where have you been?” Cried her mother “I’ve been worried sick about you!” she sat there and after a moment her face slowly regained a natural color. “Ok,” she said slowly “Tell me what happened and I promise to try not to bite your head off.” She took a deep breath and began her tale. “I was on my home from Mary’s house and I decided to take a short cut through this alley about half way down the alley I noticed that something wasn’t quite right, it felt like something was following me yet every time I looked over my shoulder nothing was there, it was the strangest feeling it was like I could almost tell that this mysterious force needed me like it desperately wanted to approach me but didn’t quite know how to do so, so I stood and waited and tried to get up the courage to say something anything! So after a few minutes of just standing I cleared me throat and said as strongly as I could that I knew that there was something following me and that I knew it wanted to talk to me so didn’t it just do so? Then believe it or not it did say something, something so shocking I still can’t believe it said it, from somewhere high above came a thundering, “sorry humans are intimidating” I dropped my jaw in disbelief I couldn’t believe it! “Well if you’re not human, why do you speak English, a human language?” “Because humans and giants share the same languages” I know what you’re thinking, giants! Whatever! Right? Well I’m telling the truth it said “giant” I heard it with my own two ears.

The left half of the entire ceiling, after restora...

The Last Judgement

Sistine Chapel, the prophet Daniel before and afte...

My jaw dropped open and I started to laugh historically. “Giant! Ha you almost had me there for a minute, this is real funny Mary! Great sound effects by the way! Where are you? Come on out, I know that it’s you!” After a while I began to get annoyed so I started to walk away when, once again the giant started to talk to me “please don’t leave, I’m sorry if I alarmed you, and I don’t know who Mary is but my name is joy.” I started to laugh again, “ok Mary cut it out it was funny for a while but now it’s getting old!” Then there was this big gust of wind and the sky went black and out of nowhere there was this massive thing looming over me like a giant cloud and all of the sudden I started to doubt that this was just some practical joke that Mary was trying to pull, because Mary was connected, but not this connected! “Ok,” I said to the massive thing that was looming over my head, “I know you’re not Mary, and you’re name is Joy, but what are you?” “Have you not been paying any attention?” it said to me” I’m a giant and the last female giant at that!” it, I mean she said to me with a little pride in her voice “the last female on earth and on Bon Swagen Fluper!” I know I know, what the heck is Bon Swagen Fluper? Well we’ll get to that in a minute, but anyhow, Joy looked down on me as if expecting something out of me, the only problem was I had no idea of what she was expecting me to do! So I coughed and shuffled my feet a little and coughed again and twiddled my thumbs a bit and then I finally said” That’s nice but um, where exactly is Bon Swagen Fluper?” “She laughed and said “Oh it’s in the next galaxy to the right!” “Oh of course” I said as if I had any idea of what she was talking about, which of course I didn’t. Then a little awkwardly I asked “So ….. What happened to the rest of the giantesses?” That wasn’t exactly a good subject to bring up at that particular moment. Her eyes lost their sparkle and her face was pulled into a tight frown, it was like somebody flipped an invisible switch that sent her from friendly giant into depressed endangered species. “oh sorry” I said even more awkwardly “it’s ok,” she said after awhile “you didn’t do anything wrong, the other Giantesses were killed by a disease that wiped out the entire female population, all except for me , you see I caught the disease but I made a remarkable recovery , after that everybody wanted me to tell them how I did it so that we could save the few women who were still alive, but I didn’t know how I did it and after awhile they got tired of hearing me say over and over that I didn’t have any idea why I was still alive, and there begging turned to yelling and violence and I was banished from my country and sent here to live under North America.” So why did you come to me?” I asked because there is nothing all that special about me, well except the fact that I love to write and solve puzzles and coming up with solutions to problems and I’m a total science nerd! “Because, I believe that you can help me come up with a way to save my planet and my race.” “wow, no pressure or anything right!” she smiled and then out of nowhere this giant, massive hand lands right beside me and from high above me she said “hop on.” So I did and then the hand lifted into the air, and before I could say anything she started running, faster and faster and then she jumped and the next thing I knew we were flying high above the ground with birds chirping and flying alongside us and then the Atlantic ocean came into view and I could feel the salty breeze whirling past my face. Then as suddenly as she had jumped she dove deeper and deeper and we finally broke the surface of the water and amazingly it wasn’t cold at all and even more amazingly could breathe! So then we were swimming through the ocean right, and this massive castle appears and I totally lost I was like” oh tm gosh, you live in a castle!” “Well yes!” she said as if I had said that chickens lay eggs! We swam up to the door and she swung it open. As soon as I saw the inside of that castle I totally flipped out! There were two sets of stairs leading up to a balcony; the ceiling was painted more beautifully than the Sistine chapel and in the very center of the ceiling was a gorgeous chandelier with a million sparkling crystals hanging from strings if perfect pearls. “Home sweet home” she said as if she was entering any ordinary apartment. “It’s not as nice as what I had back home but it’s alright.” “Not as nice as you had back home,” I mumbled under my breath “the Queen of England’s house isn’t as nice as this!”She led me to the dining room which was probably the size of North Virginia and picked me up and set me on the massive table, pulled up a chair and we began to discuss solutions to the problem at hand. “Well maybe you could go back to your home planet and try to find some sort of solution up there where you have a better idea of what’s going on.” I said “can’t, banished remember?” “Oh yes I forgot.” And so it went on like that for several hours, I would come up with an idea and she would always find a reason that it wouldn’t work. Then I said that I should probably go home now because it was getting late and that perhaps we could get together tomorrow and try again after a good night’s sleep.” She finally finished her amazing tale. Her mother just sat there for a while then finally burst out laughing and said “at least you didn’t lose your sense of humor! Go to bed and get some sleep.” And with that Felicia went to bed and dreamed of her adventure

Sistine Chapel, plan showing the format of the ver...

Sistine Chapel Left

Sistine Chapel Right