We had a contest in 6th grade to see who could come up with the most suspenseful story in 30 minutes. This was the story I submitted, and it won second place.
Running. That's what it consisted of. Running and hiding. This wasn't the first time he was after her, nor would it be the last. But this time, maybe, she could outsmart him.
Ducking behind a tree, she held her breath as she twigs snapping and leaves rustling. Eventually the sounds moved on, and Jennie poked her head around the tree. She was safe, for now, but she knew she couldn't hide their forever.
That's when Jennie remembered the old warehouse not far from her present location. It would be the perfect place to hide, if she could reach it. Off in the distance, she saw the front door. In two minutes, she could reach it and find a place to hide, before he figured out her strategy.
Jennie & Jaime
Jennie on footrest
jennie drooling on katJumping over fallen logs and pushing aside low-hanging branches, she made it to her destination without incident. Pushing open the squeaky door, Jennie was delighted to find the large room littered with mountains of boxes and crates. Crouching down, and staying away from the windows, she searched the room for suitable cover. Squeezing herself into a medium-sized crate in one corner of the room and replacing the lid, Jennie closed her eyes... and remembered.
Robert and Jennie had always been more like best friends, than brother and sister. Some said they could have been twins, aside from the fact that Robert was a year older than Jennie, they looked so much alike. As the years went by, it seemed as though nothing could separate them. Nothing, that is, except pride. What had started out as a simple financial disagreement, escalated into...
Superb
For your story to have won only second place, the first place story must have been beyond belief. Your spellbinding essay is tops in my book. That you could have composed such a story in only thirty minutes is quite a tribute to your composition abilities. I loved the suspense which you skillfully built throughout your great story. You have demonstrated a marvelous ability to effectively tell a fascinating story. I especially liked the heartwarming ending. Wonderful job!
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