Mr. Edward Slacker I received your email message outlining your welcoming message to our employees from Hong Kong. I might suggest that some changes be made to the email, as we do not want to offend our employees from abroad. I would start out the email by welcoming our managers from Hong Kong. People from Hong Kong like their titles used at work not their names. (Thill & Bov'ee 2007). We need to eliminate the part with ASAP. People from Hong Kong do not get in a hurry and take their time with all business decisions.
The way this message is written it is not audience centered. We need to add the titles of our Hong Kong employees to the message. I would not use the phrase little family because family is very important to people in Hong Kong. Our managers from Hong Kong value good working relationships with their co-workers.
Our managers from Hong Kong will not understand slang's. Pleased as punch will have to be changed in order for us to be clear and precise.
I recommend that the email read like this; I wanted to take the time to welcome all the Managers from Hong Kong to the United States. Secondly I am looking forward to meeting each of you in person and working with you. In addition I know that each one of you will enjoy living in America. In closing if you have any questions please contact me. Sincerely Edward Slacker.
Mr. Slacker I would suggest that before you write any emails or send out any messages that you read up and study the Chinese culture. We do not want to offend our managers from Hong Kong and create a work environment of confusion. I would recommend using clarity in all emails...