The Gender Struggle: Communicating in Relationships

Essay by kaufeehausekittyCollege, UndergraduateA+, March 2004

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How do men and women communicate clearly when most of their ways of communicating are so different? In today's society, language plays a major role in defining gender. "Male-female conversation is cross-cultural communication," according to Deborah Tannen in her article "Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers.(491) I believe this statement is true. Men and women are in two completely different worlds when it comes to communicating.

John Stossel, with ABC News, conducted a test with the help of researcher Campbell Leaper, of the University of California. The test showed how boys and girls deal with people differently. They made lemonade, "but instead of putting in sugar, we deviously put in salt - lots of it" (Stossel). According to the test results, "The different answers that the boys and girls gave us when we asked them if they liked the lemonade spoke volumes" (Stossel). When John asked the boys how the lemonade tasted he got these responses, "It needs some sugar," "It taste terrible," "Eech!" John said that he would have responded the same way also.

According to Leaper, the boys responded just like he thought they would because, "Boys are allowed to talk back at their parents more than girls are, to assert their will more" (Stossel). John thought the girls would respond just like the boys did, but he was proven wrong. The girls said things like, "It's good," and politely drank away even if they had to choke it down. He had to push them to get the truth out. When he asked one girl as to why she said she liked the lemonade, she responded with, "I didn't want to be rude to you" (Stossel). The others responded similarly. Most boys do not worry about not being rude. They also tried another test by...