Cary Barbor's article Finding Real Love is somewhat of a self-help article about intimacy. Cary starts out the article by explaining that her articles main idea is four mental health professionals discussing how people destroy their intimate relationships and what they can do to fix them.
The first subject talked about in Barbor's article is on the first decision we make about a relationship, which is the partner we choose. Dr. Ayala Malach says that humans try to find partners who remind them of significant people from their childhood, for instance their parents. Barbor goes on to give an excellent example of two people who fall in love because they see each other as people like their parents. After this example Barbor moves on to talk about how woman try to create more intimacy while men withdraw and try to create distance. Barbor states that in order to have an intimate relationship the couple has to ignore the feeling that lead them to advance in the woman's case and withdraw in the man's case.
Dr. Shirley Glass believes that if a couple can not find away to overcome these anxieties it can lead to affairs. Barbor goes on to say that when a woman starts filling her intimacy needs outside of her relationship, the man often thinks the problem has been resolved because there is no more complaining. She also says that there is only one way for partners to be able to trust one another again after there has been an affair and that is by being completely honest.
In the next paragraph Barbor talks about how it is people's fear of intimacy that forces us to come up with ways to avoid intimacy. She then says that one way people can overcome the fear of intimacy is to...