The good and bad aspects of getting divorced or staying together "for the children".
"What is Truly Best?"
Our generation sees divorce as the first resort, not the last. At one point in time, a married couple having problems in their marriage would choose to stay together for no other reason than because it might "hurt the children." Today, children are insignificant and are often dealt with like any other asset in a divorce. You might expect to hear one parent say to the other, "All right, you get the kids, but I get that couch and matching chair we bought last year!"
Parents who decide to go through a divorce think they are doing what is best for their children and themselves. They assume their kids will have no problem bouncing back to a healthy and happy life. Our current society in general also has this idea, but psychologist Judith Wallerstein would say differently. She reports that "too often children of divorce pay for their parents' breakup for years to come in both psychological and economical ways." Wallerstein is one of the nation's leading experts on divorce, so she should know. For over 25 years now, she has been following a group of 131 children whose parents split up. Wallerstein makes another conclusion, besides children's long-term prospects that follow divorce: "Children don't need their parents to like each other. They don't even need them to be especially civil. They need them to stay
together, for better or worse. Physical abuse, substance addiction and other severe pathologies cannot be tolerated in any home. Absent these, however, a lousy marriage, at least where the children's welfare is concerned, beats a great divorce" (Biography p.79).
Yet our generation as a whole does not seem to share her opinion. A Time/CNN poll was taken in the year 2000, where they asked the following questions: Do you agree...
Reviews of: "The good and bad aspects of getting divorced or staying together "for the children"."
:
More Children and Youngsters
essays:
Children-of-Divorce Group Therapy
... counseling children of divorce in the elementary schools: Understanding process and technique. Personnel and Guidance Journal, 59(2), 88-91. Teyber, E. (1992). Helping children cope with divorce. New York: Likington Books Wallerstein, J ...
Research paper about the effects of divorce on children.
... both parents (Wendel, 1997). There is a higher incidence of adjustment problems among children of divorce compared with children in two-parent families ...
Children of divorce..
... their parents. Divorced couples with children are faced with many obstacles in their relationships with their children that are complicated. Children of divorced parents have ...
The Effects on Children of Divorce
... to children of divorce. Without school, social, or community support a child that suffers from divorce may never be able to get the sustenance that is truly needed. Community support is just as valuable as is the physical support a parent ...
The effects of divorces for children and parents, should parents stay terrible because they have children?
... article in the Santrock website to look at "Should you stay together for the kids." Please support your side of the debate. Should parents divorce or stay together. How do children of divorced parents who ...
Victims of divorce
... of divorce is that it becomes a crucial factor that affects the children. It is not an issue that only involves the couples. As the trends in marriages change, more and more children are negatively affected by the separations of parents ...
Single Parenting
... all children are better off if their parents stay together. First, the negative consequences of being raised in a conflict family may be averted if the parents are ...
Impact of Divorce on Children.
... the current issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.'(Smart Marriages listserv's summary of "DIVORCE DETRIMENTAL TO KIDS' ACADEMICS-- USA Today June 4, 2002)"(3). These studies show how the children of divorced families are affected by their parent ...
I hear ya.
Definately a great topic. I have come from a family of many divorces and I understood where this was coming from. It is a difficult question to answer, and it does vary from couple to couple. In my experience divorce has ALWAYS been better for the children. When the parents are happy, they can help create an enviornment where their children can be happy.
Well done.
2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.