Happily ever after as long as we are a part

Essay by cher28758College, Undergraduate March 2004

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Why am I not able I find the perfect relationship? This is the question on many singles' minds. Relationships to some people come very easy. Now for the rest of us that do not fit into that category dating is like a big rulebook of do's and don'ts. This never ending list can be very overwhelming, but if a person will examine the top three scenarios on why relationships go wrong then the mistakes should become clear as crystal. Whether it is being the automatic commitment type, the jealous controlling type or having someone come along on every date type the ability of making relationships a disaster can be overcome and eventually defeated.

Everybody wants to have one special person in his or her life that they can grow old with. April Mcanulla seems to think that every guy she dates is the one she will marry.

She is the perfect example of someone who looks for an automatic commitment. Her relationships go great for the first week, after that she starts planning the wedding, naming the children and deciding where they will be put when they die. She pushes the guy to purpose or to get a place together. She is ready to say I love you after only a few days. She seems to have missed the day that the rule was set that guys can be scared of commitment, and love must grow to be successful. These few minor mistakes leave her heart broken and her eyes bloodshot from her all night cry festival with her pillow. If she would have only taken it slow all the heartache may have been avoided. Her problem is sad because she only wanted to be loved causing her to miss the simple things in a relationship. One of the most exciting parts of a relationship is enjoying all the little things while dating. So for all the girls that are ready to dress in white take a breath and let love really grow.

Relationships should be fun spending time with the person you love, but they also need days where couples can express themselves as an individual.

Matt Laughter had a problem with letting his last girlfriend be an individual. He loved spending time with her, but he did not seem to know how to let her have a life of her own. He seemed to be a nice guy in the beginning of his last relationship, but he soon did a complete 180. He started telling her what she could do, who she could hang out with, and how she was allowed to dress. If she wanted to go for a day of shopping with the girls he would get angry and not let her go. No one likes to be controlled by his or her loved one. If possible these situations are avoided. When they must be confronted the time spent is like a night terror that you cant awaken from. Making a relationship go straight to a burning pit is easy when they think of the person as a trophy instead of a loved one. Building a relationship needs to be based on trust. If a person cannot trust their partner then that person needs to take a step back and figure out why they cant trust them. They need to give their partner the opportunity to be his or her own person. This is an easy problem to fix once you realize the problem.

Most young adults like to have a double date with their friends every now and then, but young adults also like to have dates with just the two of them. Thomas Sweezy is a guy most girls would love to go out with on at least one date, yet he is not in a relationship right now. The reason is due to the fact that when a girl decides to date him they also get to have his brother come along with them everywhere. He doesn't believe in telling his brother no. When a girl wants to go out for a romantic dinner it is never just the two of them, his brother comes along also. The major problem with this is the fact that Thomas has no money leaving his date to pay for him and his brother. Thomas' love life is a little empty due to this fact unless you count his brothers love. This kind of relationship ends quickly because a girl likes to have a little pampering and quality time with her guy. It is fine to have people come along on a date every once in awhile but spending time as a couple is crucial to keep a relationship strong. To these types of relationship crushers, they must cut those strings because their brother will live without them.

Relationships complete people as a hole. In order to have a relationship around appreciation a person must give a certain amount of attention. Figuring out what is too much or too little attention can seem hard, but a person can't stress over this detail. They need to just look at all of their past relationships and they will soon have the answer. When a person brings another person on a date or pressures their date to walk down the isle heartbreak wont be to far behind. Just relax take each day for what its worth and never rush what is meant to happen. Eventually relationships will be going a lot smoother. So take a step back and learn to trust your partner.