Ideal Families

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate September 2001

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We have in our minds an image of the ideal parents. Where the parents are strict, but the children don't mind. Where children get help from their parents every night with their homework and, get good grades. Where the only thing that the kids in the family have to do was feed the dog and water the flowers. This is, or was the only type of parenting that we see in movies or on television. You know, the blue house, with a white picket fence.

"No you are NOT sleeping over her house, I only met her parents twice, and you think you can go to the dance? Well you're too young." If you have parents like that, their voices keep on echoing inside you head. When you were younger there was no going to birthday parties, unless parents could stay. Now that your older and in high school things haven't changed.

No school dances because you're too young to stay out that late with your friends. So you pretty much aren't even going to ask if you can go with your boyfriend (You haven't even told them about) to the junior prom in November. In other words, your life has been cut down to school work & family time.

Now on the other side of this whole battle of parent-child relationships, there is another extreme. There's the type of parents that will let you do what ever you want. The first time they catch you smoking, it's okay. They say "as long as it's done in our house". Well, let me tell you from experience that I have friends like this. If they can do it at home, they will do it anywhere. So now your mom knows you smoke. When you ask her if you can have a party, she says, "Yeah, do you want me to get some alcohol?" Maybe it's just me, but it would get very annoying having no rules and your parents doing the same things as you. Having no rules! Well, what kind of trouble are you supposed to get in? That's the fun in growing up! We also have our understanding/accepting parents. These are the ones where if their son is not the best basketball player, then they won't give up on him. The same parents who if their daughter does not get the best grade in school, they won't give up. They will keep on trying and encouraging. They will accept their child for who he or she is. They aren't the types of parents that will let their child run off with whoever. Yet they are much more lenient than strict parents. Their kids aren't perfect, but that's okay with them. Most of the time, their kids get into some trouble, but they're not horrible.

Is there really a right or wrong way to raise your child? As long as we love them what are we doing wrong? Which type of parenting is correct? Is there really a correct way to raise children? Is society trying to show us that there is a way to raise our kids? Some people think that they have failed because their child doesn't get straight A's. Have they failed or has the child failed? I don't think there is a right or wrong way, maybe some methods we find more often but not one is right. Just as long as you love your child.