Overall, this is a reasonably good assignment. You have shown that you understand the major concepts in the course and applied them to a business situation in a meaningful way, and shown how two companies can compete by emphasising different elements of the value proposition. However, there were a few areas that could use some improvement. Please see my comments below.
In general, I thought your discussion of the value propositions of both companies was very good. My suggestions for improvement would be to give some consideration to the costs involved, especially the non-financial costs. I would also add that not all benefits and costs are equal - so which activities contribute the most to the value proposition? Why would you say that? I also think you need to explain order qualifying versus order winning - both as concepts and in terms of the way that you have used them in this assignment.
At the moment, it looks like you have used personal choices to classify different activities as order winning or order qualifying, without explaining the relevance of the activities that you have chosen to either order winning or order qualifying.
You have use the language of the Value Disciplines concept correctly, but I think it would have been useful to spell out the section on Value Disciplines a bit more -to explain why Value Disciplines are important, their role in value creation and what we learn from undertaking this type of analysis.
I think you are on the right track with your PEST analysis, but I think you need to give some explanation for the impact / duration rating that you have provided. How have you decided on the allocation of your ratings for impact and duration?
I think it is useful to explain...