Jerry Vs. Trey: An Analysis

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorHigh School, 12th grade August 2001

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Hey, I'm in high school and I really dig Phish. But I've got a problem. Can any of you guys help me with this: My dad was a serious Deadhead. He saw the Dead from like 79 to 95, and he says I was conceived on the banks of the Hudson River after some great show... he says he and my mom were inspired by the Scarlet that night to get their groove on, or something. So anyways, when I was a baby and a little kid and stuff, I guess I went to a lot of Dead shows... a lot of the time we would snag a good spot, and then when the acid would kick in Mom and Dad would sort of space out and I met the coolest people when I got to go off on my own. So I have nothing against the Dead at all, I loved Dead shows! "There is nothing in the world like a Grateful Dead concert", those bumper stickers said it right, lol.

But I also love Phish. When I was 10 dad wanted to check out this new band, so we went and saw the boys at Red Rocks. Man I dug it so hardcore. So now I'm all into Phish and I even went to Big Cypress with some older kids from school who had this car that we slept in. My parents didn't know about that one till after I left, lol, but they were cool with it. They know they did the same thing. So here's my problem, I'm totally nuts about Trey. I think his playing blows my fucking mind, the way he does all that shit in YEM and Tweezer and First Tube, holy shit Jerry Garcia could never do THAT. But when I'm listening to Phish and my dad's like "cool tunes who is this" and I tell him its Vermonts Phinest, he's always like "That Trey is no match for Captain Trips, the fat man could play like anything" and I'm like, well dad, dead shows were cool and all but I don't think Garcia is in the same league as my boy Trey.

That's when the problems start. If my dad's had a lot of acid that night, like if its a weekend or he doesnt have to go to work too early the next morning, he gets all crazy and he'll do anything to prove Jerry's better.

He takes my phish tapes and throws them out the 2nd story window(!!) and then locks me in my room and starts blasting the Dead so I can't get out and I have to listen! If it's 77-79 I can dig it, but sometimes he puts on this experimental stuff from the 60s, or these shows from the 90s with cheesy songs and effects and all this space... those are the times I just want to kill myself. I scream and shit but he just yells that i need to learn that jerry is the best and turns up the music even louder. i'm talking fucking loud here, like the volume if you were at a show except in your house. then if he's really tripping hardcore he'll come back into my room in the middle of the night and whisper shit in my ear about how the dead rule and i should stop listening to treehugger pigfuckers (that's what he calls phish, and really all people from vermont). he thinks i'm sleeping but one time i started crying when he said that trey should die and make room for jerry so jerry can come back, and that's the time he made me stand up and write on the wall in marker that jerry garcia is the king of music and then he turned off the lights and turned on just the blacklight so all his blacklight posters were making me dizzy and then he said i had to read what i wrote a hundred times, until i fell asleep, but i was like dad i'm standing up how can i fall asleep and he said listen you fucking kid when i was at dead shows i fell asleep standing up, you just haven't taken enough drugs and then i'm like ok and he gives me more acid and we trip together and once we're both tripping everything is a lot better and then we pretend trey is jerry and i'm like see dad jerry is still alive heheheh and usually he's so fucked up he believes me and then he's like ok now that's more like it and then i get to go to bed and life is cool. but i'd rather not have to do this 4-5 times a week. Anyone have any ideas? peace, heady nuggets