25-32 33rd Street
Brooklyn, NY 11006
Dear Cousin Harry,
I'm so glad to tell you of the very happy secret that I have been entrusted to keep. Aunt Claire and her long time boyfriend, Jake, have decide to get married.
It was quite a story how I found out as well. It was supposed to be a secret to the end but the most unlikely of circumstances lead me to find out ahead of the big announcement. As it goes, our relatives have always been suspicious of Jake as he has always had a way with the ladies. That being the case, we all took to following Jake around Town anytime we had reason to believe he was cheating or when time permitted. Anyway, one day I saw him at a very fancy eatery in the restaurant district, seated at a table with a very attractive young lady.
I instantly became suspicious, and began following him secretly from that point on. He then proceeded with his lady friend to the candy store and the lingerie department in "Clowies" the big department store out in San Pedro. There they inspected the smallest and most sexy items of undergarments I have ever seen. Could you imagine how furious I was? Claire had trusted her heart to this guy and he was busy parading some strange lady in plain daylight. I decided to stay calm however, as I wanted to gather more evidence to put the case beyond any shred of a doubt. They then proceeded, hand in hand to the jewelry shop. There, They went straight to the wedding band section, and started to try ring after ring.
At this point I lost all control, I went straight up to them and said "You should be ashamed of yourself! How...