Lookin For Love

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate November 2001

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Finding your ideal mate is hard stuff. We wander our lives searching for the "right one". Some people may be searching for a person without even knowing what they are looking for, and some may be chasing the wrong person. There are things one must realize when searching for the ideal mate. When looking for an ideal mate, one must have hope, look for realistic traits, and feel comfortable around him or her.

First, you must realize your ideal mate is somewhere out there. He or she may be your next door neighbor, a co-worker, or someone you will meet in an elevator months from now. You may realize he is your ideal mate the instant you meet him or it may take several weeks, months, or years to realize. In fact, you may even hate his guts, and then grow to love him. Let's use Harry and Sally from the movie, When Harry Met Sally as an example.

Sally first met Harry while they were on a road trip moving to New York. Almost the moment they met, they knew (well Sally knew) they didn't like each other much. For instance, Harry realizes that Sally is an annoyingly picky person. Sally realizes at times, Harry is a womanizer. It took them almost twelve years to recognize that they were meant to be. Throughout the twelve years they have known each other, there has been little conflicts. But after each conflict, they learn a little more each other. They accept each other's faults, and even love each other for them.

Another mistake some people tend to make is they look for unrealistic qualities. Do not be fooled into thinking your ideal mate will be handsome, lovely, romantic, exciting, etc. Odds are, the person may have one of the traits or personalities, but never two or more (just kidding). There is no such thing as, what I would call, a "perfect mate"- a person, who has the looks, brains, and personality, suited to your needs. Sure we all want someone who is dashingly handsome or incredibly beautiful, but there is more to just looks and charms. Everyone is human, and each individual has certain quirks.

Someone who you can be comfortable with is a very important factor to remember when you are looking for that special person. When you can be yourself and not act differently"¦ When Harry and Sally became very close friends, they became comfortable with each other's presence. They liked being with each other, although neither of them admitted it. When two people are comfortable with each other, things such as trust rise from the relationship. Trust is a vital part to every relationship.

The perfect mate is not based upon outward appearances or charms. It is based upon the compatibility between two people. If you like each other enough, if the energy is right, then hopefully you'll get that little feeling in you chest, that feeling that makes everything OK when she keeps you waiting for an hour or throws up in your car. For the people who have already found their ideal mates, congratulations. For those of you who are relentlessly searching high and low, look at the bright side. At least you guys can still play the field.