Love Or Death?

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorHigh School, 11th grade March 2002

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I fear, sometimes, that you do not love me as much as I wish. My sweetest girl, I know you love me without reserve. The more I have known you, the more I know you love me. In every way ~ even my jealousies have been agonies of love, in the hottest fit I ever had I would have died for you. I have irritated you too much. But for Love! Can I help it? You are always new. The last of your kisses was ever the sweetest; the last smile the brightest; the last movement the gracefullest. When I saw you standing there looking for someone yesterday at break, I was filled with as much admiration as if I had seen you for the first time. You uttered a half complaint that I once only loved your beauty. Have I nothing else to love in you but that? Do not I see a heart naturally furnished with wings imprisoned itself within me? No ill dream has been able to turn your thoughts a moment from me.

This perhaps should be as much a subject of sorrow as joy ~ but I will not talk of that. Even if you did not love me I could not help an entire devotion to you: how much more deeply then must I feel for you knowing you love me. My mind has been the most displeased and restless one that ever was put into a body too small for it. I never felt my mind rest upon anything with complete and undistracted enjoyment ~ upon no person but you. When you are in the room my thoughts never fly out the window: you always concentrate my whole senses. The anxiety shown about our love in the last note is an huuuuge pleasure to me; however you must not suffer such speculations to constrain you any more: not will I any more believe you can have the least interest against me. I shall love you then without convection or disbelief of that of a fool. When worry is all I seem to discover ~ I shall remember in those gracious times between me and my dearest and when will I thank thee for that? If I have not said my love by now we are wrong but let's spread our wings and fly together. I say now: I love you with the deepest parts of my soul. That will stay with us until time has already past. Remember in special times together; thank you for the love in my heart,