Mans Inhumanity to Man Miss Cambell lived alone in her pokey one-bedroomed appartment on the bottom of 23rd Street. She was an introvert and always had been. She never went out after work and her life seemed to be one long routine. One thing that Miss Cambell loved to do was plan dinner parties. She would make up imaginery invitation lists, construct a lavish menu and prepare a concise shopping list to go with the menu. Every night as she would sit alone in the one bed-roomed pokey apartment she would plan these dinner parties and imagine what they would be like. She would rehearse possible conversations that she would have with her imaginery guests and spend hours pouring over her record collection constructing suitable music intinery for her dream evening.
One day, while at work, Miss Cambell felt an itch in her head. She could not understand what it could be.
Cambell Soup Tomato Soup
Heather Cambell.
Cambell's soup aisleAfter work she made an unscheduled stop at the pharmacy across from her apartment. It was her first time ever entering the pharmacy as Miss Cambell had always been quite a healthy women. The pharmacist greeted her with a warm smile and mentally Miss Cambell added him to her invitation list for that night's 'dinner party'.
"Good evening, can I help you", he asked. "Yes I have this itch in my head and I just don't know what it is", replied Miss Cambell. The pharmacist moved closer and examined her scalp closely. After much deliberating he confirmed that it must be dandruff. "I have just got this wonderful shampoo in for dandruff if you would like to try it", he suggested and Miss Cambell gladly bought the small brown bottle of shampoo from.
That night, Miss Cambell washed her hair with the new shampoo and instantly she felt a relief. She was very pleased and decided that the dinner party that she was going to dream up of that night was definitely going to have 'The Pharmacist' as the guest of honour.
She continued using the shampoo for a week but gradually the irritating itch in her head returned. Again she called to the pharmacy to seek further advive from the friendly pharmacist.
"Good evening, can I help you",asked the pharmacist with a warm smile. Miss Cambell explained her terrible situation and again the pharmacist examined her scalp. He scratched her head gently and then licked his finger. After several minutes he announced that she didn't have dandruff, no, that white flakey substance was parmesan cheese!. The pharmacist sold Miss Cambell a cream to eliminate the itch but he could do absolutely nothing about the parmasen cheese. In a way Miss Cambell was quite happy with the situation as parmesan cheese had always featured regularly in her shopping list for her imaginery dinner parties.
Miss Cambell spent a week scratching her head and gathering the parmasen cheese in a glass jar and when she was satisfied that she had enough for dinner for two she crossed the street ince more to see the pharmacist. This time he remembered and inquired about the parmasen cheese situation. " Hello there, and how is your head feeling today," he inquired. Miss Cambell was delighted that he had remembered and this encouraged her even more to go ahead and ask the question that she had been waiting to ask for the last week, "Would you like to come to my appartment tonight for dinner, it's the least i could do for you considering how much you've helped me", said Miss Cambell. To her surprise he accepted instantly and obviously delighted at the invitation, "I would be most honoured to come, just tell me where and when". And that was that. The pharmacist was coming to dinner.
Miss Cambell made a delicious spaghetti bolognaise for dinner that night and generously sprinked her parmesan cheese over the top. The pharmacist arrived on time and was obviously anxious to begin dinner. Miss Cambell's planned conversation never happened and her carefully compilled music was never played. The pharmacist just wolfed down his dinner. He didn't stay an hour and Miss Cambell thought that perhaps he didn't enjoy Italien but as he was leaving he told Miss Cambell how much he loved her cooking especially her parmesan cheese. Delighted t this Miss Cambell invited him to return the following week for dinner and again he accepted.
Miss Cambell spent the entire week scratching her parmesan cheese so that she would have enough for the pharmacists dinner. When the time came for dinner Miss Cambell again cooked iItalien, Carbonara the time and ofcourse, it was covered with her delicious parmesan cheese. Again the pharmacist wolfed down the meal. Conversation was limited and he left soon after finishing the meal, but not without complimenting the cook first. "I have never had such a delicious meal in all my days", he said gratefully to Miss Cambell. Bursting with delight she invited him to come for dinner at any. She told him of her love for cooking, and he told her of his love for parmesan cheese.
The pharmacist began to call regularly to Miss Cambell and soon she was under pressure to produce more parmesan cheese than her head could manage, so she began to scratch her body. by thiss point the pharmacist was clling every evening for dinner which always ha to contain parmesan cheese. Miss cambell could no longer eat the parmesan cheese herself, if she did there would be none left for the pharmacist. As the weeks went on Miss Cambell's body began to look very raw but the pharmacist insured her that it was quite alright, his body began to look quite plump, and so the scratching continued.
One evening, when the pharmacist called for dinner Miss Cambell just hadn't any parmesan chees for him. She told him that she was feeling too weak to scratch anymore and in a temper he lashed out and hit miss Cambell. A heap of bones fell to the floor, never to produce parmesan cheese in this life again. The pharmacist went home wonderin what he would make for his dinner.
English: pharmacist officier in italian army - rib...
English: The lower end of Lon Cambell
"WACS WITH THE ARMY SERVICE FORCE - PHARMACIST" - ...