Math Teacher's Head

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate September 2001

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I have recently completed my dissection of the head of a mathematicsteacher. My findings are quite strange and unusual, as I will explain later. Many of the parts found in this specimen were very different than what would be expected inside a normal head.

When the contents of the head were first exposed, everything seemed to be as it should. Upon further inspection, I learned that this was not a normal head at all. The large section of the brain, normally used for storing personality and other such traits, seemed to be shrunken to a minimal size. This would explain, the lack of originality and excitement associated with a teacher of this type. Looking further into the skull, the area of the brain responsible for compassion and caring seemed to be completely overtaken by the section in charge of calculations and obscure facts about numbers. The veins connecting the ears to the brain were also quite uncommon.

These were unlike normal ears in that they could not understand any type of conversation about recreation or relaxation, but only that of arithmetic and multiplication. The next area to be discovered was the very center of the brain. In a normal person this would contain all the love and emotions. The only thing that could be found inside this sample was square roots and fractions. At first thought, it seemed to be quite impossible, but it later became clear to me. This explained the lack of a social life and showed the reason for creating impossible test for students. To the left of this section, was the area containing the sense of humor. This part had the same size, shape and color of that from a normal head. With close examination from my microscope, and consultation with a living math teacher, I determined that the only defect in this area was that the ability to create extremely poor jokes. These appeared to be the only major differences that were noticeable from that of a normal human head. Without close investigation and study, this head would appear to have no abnormalities at all, the outward appearance is extremely plain and dull.

These are a few of the oddities that can be found inside the head of an average mathematicsteacher. Once the normal outward appearance has been removed it is easy to see the reason for all of the strange behaviors and quirks. This will conclude my dissection of the cranium of the math teacher.