Me And Capitalism

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate September 2001

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Hi It has been a long while since I've written a long mail and it might be quite a while before you read it, but anyway, here I am, feeling like writing.

Things are not absolutely smooth here and I find myself functioning on different scales than what I initially set out to do. Now, however, that I have begun to understand myself more with time, I guess it is not my de-facto priority to top the class. I know that now that, by whatever accident of fate that I'm here, I better ensure my survival if not success. I also realise that it is possible to top the class here and it'll be grand if I could actually do something like that, but somehow I find myself rebelling against whatever I decide I 'must' do. I am grandly wasting time playing the guitar, the keyboard, the bass and perhaps with my life and future, but the sad part is if I really think about it, I don't find myself regretting any action and given a chance, I waste no time in repeating it in style.

But here I am, surrounded by ambitious power hungry dogs fighting over inconsequential bones, joining clubs for "bio-D value", butt kissing and "networking". They make success look very cheap. I don't want to do what they do, so I guess I don't want what they want...though it is doubtful whether they know what they want...for that matter even I don't ! Maybe I am not ambitious. This is very unpalatable according to present day standards where it is assumed that you can't do something if you say you don't want to. This is justifiable as generally everyone wants everything. I know what I don't want in life. I don't want to die of a...