I would never forget the day that I heard those two words on the phone.
ÃÂHeÃÂs gone.ÃÂHeÃÂs gone?HeÃÂs gone!Hearing those two words made my whole world stand still. It was like a bomb of emotions had exploded inside of me.
The big accident happened before the New Year. I found out after nearly a month. Why is life so unfair? Why did God so cruelly take this young life? He was only thirteen! He was such an innocent boy and his bright future was just about to start! Oh, everything on the earth can exist, except him! It is so unfair!Mum opened the door after work. ÃÂIÃÂve heard the news from my work. There was a big accident next suburb. A boy died because the truck driver was drunk. You must be careful when you take the bus home after school and remember to watch out for the traffic.ÃÂI looked at my mum with cold empty eyes.
Then I just turned back to my room and slammed the door behind me. I threw myself roughly in the bed. My face turned red because of the anger. DonÃÂt you know that boy was my friend? Oh, no, more than a friend! He was like my brother! DonÃÂt you know that? How dare you talk to me like that? How could you talk about that tragedy as though it was an everyday event? Oh, yes, I forgot you donÃÂt know. You know nothing! This is because I never told you anything. I had to carry all of the sorrow on my own! I had to suffer all of the pain and grief!I went to his school, and I looked at every one of them there. That only made me mad. They were on the playground enjoying the recess time break. They were...
Heartfelt, but poorly written
It is easy to see the emotion in this piece. In that aspect, the writer excelled. However, the diction and syntax leave quite a bit of room for improvement. It could definitely stand to go through an edit or two.
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