History once told us, "This is your brain...this is your brain on drugs...any questions?"
Well, after seeing "Constantine," I know exactly what that prophecy meant. I still see Keanu Reeves as Neo, the perfect resemblance of a hero who saves the world.
Now, my brain feels truly fried watching my ideal savior metamorphose into a gloomy, cancer-ridden chain smoking shell of a man who pretty much is supposed to be the same thing.
First time director Francis Lawrence takes his turn dipping into the comic book pool and what emerges is yet another average adaptation, further lending credence to easily forgotten movies pushing the limits of oversaturation.
His directorial history consists of mainly being at the helm of many a music video and much like those, he provides brief snippets of action pasted together to pass the time.
It's a bit trite.
It's a bit tedious.
And it's definitely a bit too long.
John Constantine plays the role of a pseudo-bounty hunter who is able to travel between the real world and the underworld.
He is a man who has already endured a taste of torment, and his job consists of sending half-breed demons back to their blistering domain so as they can burn in hell in fiery damnation.
Accompanying him on this journey is Angela, a cop dealing with her own issues as she investigates the apparent suicide of her twin sister. Initially she's just a street smart skeptic, but after finding Constantine, she realizes they're a perfect team and the two take on all sorts of evil entities that decide to break the truce between heaven and hell by appearing on Earth.
Also, this all ties in with a certain "spear of destiny" that holds magical powers certain to impact the battle between good and evil.