My First Christmas

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate April 2001

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The music in the background buzzed through the dimly lit bar as Sharon gently caressed the smooth glass as she stared fuzzily into her fifth glass of whiskey. It had not been her intention when she walked into the Crocodile to become tipsy, it was more something that had just happened while she occupied her mind with other, self- pitying things. It was her first Christmas since her divorce and it didn't help that her daughter was spending it with her father and his new girlfriend. It wasn't as if her marriage had been a happy one in the last few years, nor had it ever been a good relationship. She and her husband (ex-husband) were not fit right from the beginning and she had known it, they had both known it, so why did she let it go on for so long? Why had she let herself bring a child into their loveless marriage?         Sharon picked up the glass and drank it back without pause.

She glanced over at the bartender signaling him to bring her another, he gave her a glance that at first, in her now drunken stupor seemed to say " Stop bothering me you bitch." but in fact (and after a few minutes to gather herself enough to think straight) was a look of concern and pity.

Do I really look that pathetic? she wondered. Of course you do, you idiot! you're a lonely woman sitting at a bar, alone, getting drunk on Christmas eve. She missed her daughter, she missed her old life, as unhappy as it was, and it bugged her that everyone around her was moving forward while she stayed inevitably still. It would have been okay if she had been the one to find someone to replace her husband, someone to share the season with.

But no Edward had been the one to move on, to replace...