My life, my friends, and finding myself

Essay by darfaceHigh School, 11th grade September 2004

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While looking back over the years, rummaging through pictures and memories, people seem to realize how much they have changed. I know that who I am now is not who I used to be. I am a sixteen year old junior attending Desert High School, I am happy with who I am and who I want to be, I love sports, and I love being around others, especially my friends. However, when I look back to when I was fourteen year old freshman attending Desert High School, a mere two years ago, I was not happy with my life or where it was going, sports seemed to be a job, and all I could do was wait for the day to end so I could be by my self, back in my room. Looking back on then while seeing now, I realized that I have evolved into an entirely different person.

        The summer between eighth grade and freshman year brought about a lot of change for me, the biggest being my family moving from Fort Irwin to Edwards AFB. From the day we got here all I wanted to do was leave, and being new here, I had no friends; I was still unable to let go of my old home. My inability to cope with the change of moving, combined with the fact that I had no one to talk to, caused me to fall into depression. This depression caused my self-esteem, which was very high while living at Ft. Irwin, to plummet, this, in turn, causing me to be anti-social. The only escape I had from this downward spiraling path was sports, and even this was very little help. I disliked everyone on my teams, they disliked me, and the only reason I played was to spite them.