Now

Essay by EssaySwap ContributorCollege, Undergraduate February 2008

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I am a heroin addict. I am alone as I usually am these days. It's early in the morning and I am sick. I'm nauseous and sweating, my hands are shaking, and I have no energy. Though I don't want to move, I can't get comfortable and I have to get going. I need to score, need the drug to keep the sickness away, the sickness that's only going to get worse as time passes. I have to get out of the house before my landlord comes, as she does everyday now to ask for the rent money, money I don't have. I haven't paid rent for two months now, and I know I'm going to be evicted soon. She's behind on her payments to the bank because I haven't paid. I don't like to avoid her as I feel guilty and bad for her, but I fear the dope sickness more.

It drives everything I do. I can't pay any bills, and now the collection agencies are after me for bad credit card debts and unpaid utility bills. Their attempts to contact me go unanswered. The power in the house was turned off a long time ago. I have no heat or air conditioning, and no hot water. I take cold showers when I can stand to take them. The cold water makes my skin crawl. I sleep on the floor because I've pawned all my furniture, and the refrigerator just grows mold and dust.

I look like hell. I wear long sleeve shirts to hide the needle marks on my arms and I haven't bought new clothes in years. I have no money for food. I eat where and when I can, but it's not enough, and I'm malnourished and underweight. I've been going to the soup kitchens...