Some may say that life is a journey headed towards a destination that leads you toward a crossroad where one must make a decision on which direction to go. What I will discuss in this paper is my life's journey, the crossroads I came to, and the decisions I have made. Some of these decisions were tough and some easy enough. However, in the end they were decisions to be made and each one has affected my life. I will also discuss what decisions I am working on as well as those I have made in advance.
Growing up my family consisted of my mother, my three sisters and me. Times were often tough and hand me downs were of the norm. When I was five my parents divorced this was the cause of a horrible marriage that was very abusive, both mental and physical. My younger sister and I were left unharmed physically, yet we were never able to forget some of the memories we have of those times.
I have to admit that things could have been worse at home yet it was still a scary place to call home for a five year old. I was the younger one of the middle children, there were four of us. I always felt that I was to protect my younger sibling and often looked toward my older sisters for support and guidance. Dealing with the divorce was tough at times, but, as you can see, I have made it through and believe it was probably for the best that they no longer were together.
As time went by things seemed to get better and they did. When I was about eight years old my mother met my step-father and he turned out to be a true blessing to our lives and to our future. However, I did not always feel this way, when I was a teen I rebelled against him, making his life a bit harder. I was just a confused little girl who needed so desperately to find her way with a little guidance. It was not until I was in my mid twenties that we were able to really get along. He helped me financially get back into school, knowing it had been a dream of mine to further my education in college and become successful one way or another. I did not want to struggle through life financially like I saw my mother, and now my father.
My grandmother also helped give me the boost I needed to get headed in the right direction, she kept telling me that I could get back to school and achieve my goals if I tried, but without trying how would I know. I had to admit made perfect sense so I took all the steps to enroll into college and just up and decided to go almost at the last moment. I literally woke up and just decided to go back to school.
Today, I am happy to say that I am still taking those steps to ensure that I achieve my goals. It has been quite the journey, but I am still up for the task at hand. Recently I met a man who, I think, loves me for who I am and that is important. I have been, to boys in the past, a trophy to show off to friends. I am glad I met him; he makes me happy for the most part. Here is where Erikson's stage of intimacy vs. isolation takes place in my life; "I find a man, outside my family, that I can share my life with or feel that I am isolated from society because I have not yet found someone" although I believe today women and men are both isolated from society if when they reach a much higher age than twenty-six they are considered to exiled from society (cited in Boyd and Bee, 2006, page 88). Together we have embraced our relationship and decided to have a beautiful baby boy, Niccolo, who I cherish and adore. Our son will be a year next month on the twenty second, and I am excited to see him reach this milestone in life. He has taught me so much in the last two years. Being a mother is both the most challenging and the most rewarding job there is to have.
Levinson's life structure starts to take place at this point in my life more than any other, maybe its because being a mother is a big job with a lot of responsibility and adds a huge role to my many other roles (cited in Boyd and Bee, 2006, page 89). My life as I knew it, single living life partying with friends on the weekends, has changed to staying in and being with this adorable little boy playing with him, teaching him, reading books to him, trying to get him to walk. As in the book states "sensation seeking and risky behaviors decline when young adults become parents" (cited in Boyd and Bee, 2006, page 99). This is what it is all about I can see it in his eyes each time he smiles at me. I am looking forward to our lives together and watching him grow as a person. Wondering what obstacles he will endure and what my role in his life will be. Wanting not to be that overbearing parent, but still be protective I only hope to find a balance between the two.
With that said, he has a half sister that never gets to see him, she is ten and her mother has sole custody of her right now. We are trying to get visitation rights so that she can have a non-interrupting relationship with her father and her half brother. As for the two of us I have not had the chance to have the chance to build a relationship with her. When we started to do things together her mother decided she did not want that and stopped letting her come down. Her mother and I do not get along at all there just have been too many negative things on her behalf, not just with me but with my significant other. That role is hard to transition into with no relationship and the expectancy of one to automatically be there.
In life there are so many transitional phases that I really understood what the book was talking about when it says that we go through many transitional phases or a "renewal cycle that is stable at times that follow transitions" learning and sometimes it is not so easy (cited Hudson and McLean, 2006, page 54). My life at home and my life at work are two different parts of the renewal cycle. At home I am in phase two where "I am not happy in my life chapter but feel that there is nothing I can do about it" (Hudson and McLean, 2006, page 55). Now at work and at school I feel like I can conquer the world so I would be in phase one with a "go for it" attitude.
Now I am working fulltime and going to school fulltime as well hoping that all my hard work will pay off for the both of us in the future. I have always wanted to be able to be in the process of owning my own home by the time I was thirty so that is a goal I am working towards in the near future. Working in the banking industry helps too I am learning more about financing, credit, what it means to have credit, and how to reach my goals. Plus working for the banking industry gives me benefits that help me achieve my financial goals as well. This summer I am hoping to get into a newer vehicle, I feel like I have outgrown the car I drive now.
Going back to school, I feel, will also help me reach a level at work that will help put financially sound and stable. Which is also a goal I hope to obtain someday at least, I owe it to my son to make his life a bit easier than mine has been. I think most parents want that for their kids. To be able to support them and help them out from time to time financially especially when they are young and starting out and trying to find their way in this great big world full of changes and people that you cannot always count on. I like my job and hope to be able to learn more at work and through my education goals as well. My job offers training and I can transfer to almost anywhere I want to within the company so I am extremely excited about all the opportunities that have knocked on my door recently. I hope that with each day it gets a bit easier and I can succeed and help my son along the journeys that lie ahead for him.
ReferencesBoyd, D. , &. Bee, H. (2006). Adult Development. Boston: Pearson Education.
Hudson, F. M., & Mclean, P. D. (2006). Life Launch: A Passionate guide to the rest of your life. (4th ed.) Santa Barbara, CA: The Hudson Institute Press.