My Last Supper
It would be accurate to say that I am scared. I do not understand what was happening to me. I have known this time would come; however I misjudged my own acceptance of my fate. I feel a mix of anger, confusion, hesitation, and perhaps most of all, bewilderment. Things have evolved so fast I rarely have time to contemplate these thoughts and feelings. I am afraid to think such horrible thoughts for fear I will let Him down.
It was close to nightfall. I knew that my time was dwindling and that I must face my friends. My mind raced with ideas on how to tell them without casting doubt on their fate or causing ill feelings. Though I had never had trouble transforming my thoughts into actions that communicated to these men, I was apprehensive about the task at hand this evening. While these men had given up everything to be with me, few, if any of them, understood what I was required of me.
For how could these men understand this if I am unable to comprehend it myself? These men will feel double-crossed; they will doubt all I have said and all they have heard. Already one of them has displayed his true colors to me! I must trust that faith will prevail and that my followers will come to see what I see. I cannot see into the eyes of their souls. Their words have said they will love me forever, but it will be their actions that will tell me if they are truly honest.
During supper that evening, I had little to say from the start. My friends asked me if I was feeling ill, perhaps I needed to lie down and collect my thoughts after such a...