PEAS, STEAK, AND, JAKE.
By Daniel Noble
An elderly man, wearing a jacket with only one button attached sits at a dinner table with his equally elderly wife, who is wearing tattered evening gown. Before them is a dinner of steak and peas. In the other seats of the table sit two stuffed animals that the couple believe are their children.
Ronald: Margaret, I must say, tonight the peas have quite a bit of spunk. What prey tell is your secret, to such delightful green morsels of green peas?.
Margaret: (Sips from her cocktail) Pepper, I love pepper, it turns an everyday meal, into culinary delightment. I used to use Mrs. Dash, but then she started giving me dirty looks.
Ronald: Pepper! I should have guessed, it was like the peas were dancing on my tongue. But then I thought to myself, peas don't have legs, how can they possibly dance on my tongue.
Margaret: Maybe they had prosthetic pea legs.
Ronald: That would be quite a sight, wouldn't it? Remember when your brother had to get a prosthetic leg, after the incident. What was it we used to call him?
Ronald: No, his nickname.
Margaret: My, my, I seem to have forgotten. Oh wait, I remember now, Herbert No Legs.
Ronald: Oh yes, of course, remember we would throw things at him, and then we'd say "Run no legs, Run," but he wouldn't run, because he had no legs.
Margaret: Yes, I'm so glad we inherited his prosthetic; it makes the perfect vase for our lilies.
Ronald: We should have filled it with pansies, it would have been more appropriate.
Margaret: My mother used to grow the most beautiful pansies, right next to where we buried papa. She used to love to tell the story about how...