A Play I Wrote for my "Modern Femininity" Class. Some people might find it offensive. It was in response to the assignment "Write a Creative Response to Changing Role of Males in Modern Parenting"
PEAS, STEAK, AND, JAKE.
By Daniel Noble
An elderly man, wearing a jacket with only one button attached sits at a dinner table with his equally elderly wife, who is wearing tattered evening gown. Before them is a dinner of steak and peas. In the other seats of the table sit two stuffed animals that the couple believe are their children.
Ronald: Margaret, I must say, tonight the peas have quite a bit of spunk. What prey tell is your secret, to such delightful green morsels of green peas?.
Margaret: (Sips from her cocktail) Pepper, I love pepper, it turns an everyday meal, into culinary delightment. I used to use Mrs. Dash, but then she started giving me dirty looks.
Ronald: Pepper! I should have guessed, it was like the peas were dancing on my tongue. But then I thought to myself, peas don't have legs, how can they possibly dance on my tongue.
Margaret: Maybe they had prosthetic pea legs.
Ronald: That would be quite a sight, wouldn't it? Remember when your brother had to get a prosthetic leg, after the incident. What was it we used to call him?
Ronald: No, his nickname.
Margaret: My, my, I seem to have forgotten. Oh wait, I remember now, Herbert No Legs.
Ronald: Oh yes, of course, remember we would throw things at him, and then we'd say "Run no legs, Run," but he wouldn't run, because he had no legs.
Margaret: Yes, I'm so glad we inherited his prosthetic; it makes the perfect vase for our lilies.
Ronald: We should have filled it with pansies, it would have been more appropriate.
Margaret: My mother used to grow the most beautiful pansies, right next to where we buried papa. She used to love to tell the story about how...
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An alternate twist to the play Monkey's Paw What if Mr White did not wish Herbert away with his third wish?
... done, I should just accept it." He thought as he walked to Herbert. For the next few days, the couple lived peacefully and happily with Herbert. However, their peace was shattered one day ... his wife's pleas, Mr White raised his hand and wished for Herbert to be alive again. The couple then waited ...
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