Reflections paper- dealing with self disclosures

Essay by Th3xTrUtHA-, October 2007

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My Best friend and girlfriend Kierstin is going to be used for both of my examples of my self disclosures. Before our relationship she had dated another guy who was a friend of mine. Throughout our relationship I always felt that she was still having doubts or that she liked this kid still. The one day I just came out with it and told her my exact feelings towards him and how I thought the situation with the three of us was going and that I wasn't pleased with how it went, as I was continually worried over her and didn't truthfully trust her. We spoke about the topic of him and her along with many of other topics that night. She came out with what had been going on with them and that she knew everything was wrong and she didn't want to do it but also didn't want to hurt his feelings and tell him to stop talking to her, for the reason that she wanted to remain friends with him.

Once she told her side of it all we ended laughing it over and we were both so happy that I brought it up for us to speak about, to this day it has ended up being the turning point in our relationship.

The Self disclosure that was ineffective for me was when Kierstin and I had an argument one time and I ended up acting like there was nothing wrong with me and that what she had said was right, a few hours later it stuck with me and ended up driving me nuts for the next few days. I didn't speak about my own opinion and just agreed with her so it wouldn't get blown up into a big problem, as I hate fighting over stupid things so I tend to let things go.

I don't really organize my perceptions too well, I think people perceive me in a way that they don't really think negative things when we talk and look up to me more than push me and my thoughts aside. I just judge people the way they are from knowing them or by first appearances for the most part. I'm not the nicest person towards meeting new people. The most disturbing thing about my perceptions tends to be how I do two negative things as I judge in a wrong way of appearance and then I also won't be talkative one bit with many people I don't feel interested in. The best way to get people to think of me the way I want them too is to have a great first impression along with being very communicative with them over a period of time, being polite wont hurt one bit either! A great way for me to improve my ways is to sit back more and not be so judgmental with new people, accept all types of people whether they are like me or not.