2 November 2004
Short Response #6 Draft 3
I believe that Tonya's source's were good sources, so there really is not a reason for her to expand her research further book wise. Tonya could have took the opportunity to interview a couple of individuals that had dropped out of school, and asked them their situations on why or what had occurred in their life for them to make the decision that they were not going to finish school. If she would have had these people interviewed she could of had her essay more elaborated and could have reflected her paragraphs an individual that had fell in that circumstance. Tonya's research could have definitely benefited from using figures from Dr. Burnett's outline of at-risk programs as well as TEA's criteria. She could have used a scale chart to express how younger age stress can result in early drop out rate, or poverty, or even how an average low paying job is compared to an education.
This essay if very much fitting, I believe that Tonya could have explained more in detail about how a majority of the people that drop out of school normally drop out in High School and not in Junior High School or Elementary. I believe that there could have at least 2 more paragraphs before ending the essay. I don't feel that she established a credibility regarding Ridersville ISD much at all. There seemed like there could have been more results to be mentioned about ISD for Texas. Yes, I do agree with Tonya's assessment of RISD's at risk program, even though the essay could have been cleared up a little more it shows how a child can be at an early risk of leaving school at an early age.