An Analytical Essay on the General Suckiness of Robinson Crusoe Spawning such nightmarish children such as Swiss Family Robinson, Castaway, and the ever-moronic Survivor, Daniel DeFoe's Robinson Crusoe is the perfect parent of this dysfunctional family of lee shore epics, as it is a tour de force as an example of suckiness being mislabeled a classic. Robinson Crusoe's general incomprehensibility, specifically in the character's overall situation, the unintelligence and meaningless of its plot, the alien themes which evoke little understanding in the mind of the reader, and the literary style which DeFoe used employing habitual over-descriptiveness, all contribute to making Robinson Crusoe one of the suckiest books I have ever read as it has little or no contemporary literary merit whatsoever.
At its core, Robinson Crusoe is the namesake of the book, himself. An adventurer with a wandering inclination for adventure, who seeks, and is denied his father's blessing, and who is being punished by God for defying his father's will (DeFoe 2, 3).
The core of this book is already moot, for the concept of attaining one's father's blessing before pursuing a career is completely foreign to the contemporary reader. In fact, in virtually all modern families, sons choose their own path independently. However, it is not completely unheard of for a father and son to have a clash of wills. Yet DeFoe bombastically inflates the concept of God cursing one's life for disobeying one's father throughout the entire novel: Crusoe is enslaved, then escapes and decides to settle down and obey his father (15, 27). He is then marooned, finally, after 29 years on the island during which he has turned to God. He is "released" from his captivity on the island returning to England on the same day he escaped from slavery (40, 250). Crusoe's world,