While tempting to write this paper at the last minute, an idea of what to actually write about hadn't struck me. Finally, after much time contemplating (or, rather watching movies), I decided that this paper should have the topic of no other than procrastination, a skill that every teenager going through third-quarter depression has mastered perfectly. I pride myself in being a grade A procrastinator. As people brag about being productive, I brag about how extremely unproductive I am. However, some students, those being the over-achievers, have yet to learn that mystical talent of starting a research paper at midnight, finishing science homework during the four minutes in between bells, and having the phrase "I can do it tomorrow" become a way of life. I have taken it upon myself to bless those less fortunate with the knowledge of how to procrastinate, a skill every teenager must learn.
The first rule of procrastination is the easiest, for it all comes from the gag-reflexes.
There are always those select few who come into class with a big smile on their faces, for they completed that day's homework about a week ago. Your assignment, most likely being of the same quality, was completed probably during the study hall right before the class. The first thing you should do is GAG. Take this situation, for instance.
Karen: Gee, Jessica! I feel great! I finished those history questions about a week ago and didn't have to stay up all night doing them! Wow, I'm so refreshed from a full eight-hour sleep!
In this situation, Jessica did the right thing. She showed her disapproval by a clear motion of vomit. Jessica, being able to pull off an A on those history questions while doing them the night before, deserves great praise for obtaining...